Journal Entry 7/30/13: The Road. The Sacrifice.

IMAG0020Don’t get me wrong, I love being out here traveling the country rocking the stage for the fans and getting to meet them, putting some faces with names. Getting paid to do something I love is an absolute plus. Even getting a little time to my self away from the everyday pressures of life even for a moment is cathartic in a sense, But the road can be a lonely place. I love the time that I get to bond with my brothers out here facing and overcoming adversity and/or having those special moments where we have the perfect night. The sound is perfect. The openers or dope. A healthy crowd is there to have fun with us. Merch is moving from the table and we kill our sets.There is nothing like that feeling when your out on the road.

But for me as a family man there is a lot that I sacrifice to be out here. For me it is a catch 22. On one hand being on the road is something that I have missed for the past few years that I haven’t been out. This is the best job in the world and I wouldn’t want to trade it for any other job. I feel like I am out here fulfilling purpose. I have always thought that this is what I am called to do and to be out here doing it, planting seeds with the gift that God has given me is an amazing feeling.

On the other hand I miss my family. All of the little things that annoy me when I am 20130406_172630home I miss. How Ironic. I miss my children waking me at 8 in the morning asking to play video games. I miss hearing them bicker over nothing just as brothers do. I miss there individualness shining through them with a blinding hue…I miss my boys immensely.

I miss my wife terribly. I miss here morning attitude cause she hates mornings, especially if she has to go to work. I miss her smile. I miss seeing here talk to me. I miss here touch. I miss her little quirks that annoy me, most of which I can’t mention with out suffering her wrath when I get home. I miss her warmth. I just miss her.

Many fans don’t know and maybe some do, but as artist, especially those with families sacrifice much to be out here with you. Some of us have families that we leave to come and spend time with you because we love you as well. We appreciate you loving us and supporting us and what we love, so our way of showing it is to continue to put out music that we hope you will love and come and see you a few times a year. In that we leave 20130726_234247much of what makes up the artist that you support behind. Without our families we would not be the people that we are. Without or families some of us would not have the drive to be the very best at what we do and we leave all of the love and all of the comfort of our domestic family to be with our musical family. Though there is love and admiration out here on the road it is not the same. Many of my friends that are artist have children and wife’s that they leave to come and play for you and take pictures with you love it. But never discount the sacrifice that that person is making to take that picture and perform your favorite song. In 2004 I missed the birth of my youngest son. I was on the road and he was about a month old the first time I saw him. This is what prompted my 5 year hiatus and had me close to retiring, but I am an artist. I can not walk away from purpose like that. I am learning to balance the passion for my family with the passion of my music. It is a constant struggle but to see the looks on the fans when we have a show in their city or seeing the look on my wife’s and children’s faces when I finally come home makes it all worth it.

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