The Beauty of Evolution

 

infographic-illustration-evolution-music-industry

The more that you learn and the more that you experience in life the newer you become, for better or worse. Whether you choose to or not you continue to change and grow throughout your time on this earth due to what you come in contact with. You are not the same person at 10 years old that you were at 5 years old and so on so forth until the day you die. 

If you listen to my music you know I talk about choices a lot because that is basically what life boils down to in my opinion. Life is a series of choices that you make every day based on what you have learned the days, weeks and years before that moment.  Everyday choices are not always based on knowledge because it is possible that in you vast knowledge of the universe there is something that you don’t know so you make educated guesses.  I say all of that to say this evolution is not a choice but how you evolve is, and that what I have found beautiful and exciting. 

As many of you know I have journeyed into music production in the last month or so and it is one of the greatest decisions that I have made in a while. It is something that I have always been interested in, being deeply involved in hip hop culture and music (drum lessons, Saxophone) since I was 11 years old. I’ve sat in many studios and watched some of the illest producers create. In that time I have always had my own small collection of records just for listening purposes, but I was always catching loops or I would make a suggestions on how to freak a loop that someone I was hanging with was hooking up. I’ve always wanted to make my own soundscapes and build a true musical vision from the ground up. My problem was that I was intimidated by having to learn the equipment or programs. It just seemed hard and that it would take more of an effort than I was willing to make at that time. I was in lazy “I just wanna rap” mode and that attitude hindered my evolution in a direction of my choosing. Now that I have made that step I feel that I am discovering hip hop again for the first time, because I am looking at it and participating in it from a different perspective. Since taking on this new found endeavor I find myself listening to hip hop, and music in general for that matter, in a new way and I love it. My eyes are being opened to a new world that has been on the other side of a door that I have had the key to for many years , but I wasn’t ready to walk through it until now. The evolution of Illogic is exciting! I have a fire in my eyes again. 

I say all that to say this, NEVER STOP LEARNING! Never stop finding new things to expand your palate. You can even look at things that you are already involved in and see how you can evolve in those areas as I did. Evolution is a never ending process of life and you evolve into who your choices and experiences dictate. So be decisive and strategic, as much as you can be, with the choices you make for your evolution. Make sure you do what you can to enjoy its direction and don’t just be a passenger of your own growth along for the ride? It’s up to you. Evolution is a beautiful thing if you make it beautiful. 

2 fingers.

Ps. If you haven’t head my Beats yet Check them out below and let me know what you think of them. Honesty is appreciated.

Why Do We Fall in Love with Hip Hop (culture)?

I love hip hop    We are all drawn to hip hop for different reasons. For some of us its a home, a shelter or place of comfort. For others it the attraction of having a good time with no strings or judgement. For me it was an escape from my life in times of despair and desperation as well as an area when I was accepted no matter what. Most of the friends that I have made in and because of hip hop are just as screwed up as I am if not more, but that’s okay. Hip hop doesn’t judge us. Hip hop doesn’t ask anything from us that we do not have the means to provide. Hip Hop is a “come as you are” mantra. Hip Hop is our rocking roll. This is why we fall in love with it because hip hop  allows us a freedom that in many of us has been suppressed, if not by our environment (home, neighborhood, church) then by ourselves for fear of what people will say or how we will be looked at if that part of us is revealed. Of course there has been a obvious perversion of our culture that is present to the main stream global community, but that doesn’t take away from its foundation. That perversion doesn’t taint or belittle our love.

This post was inspired by a friend of mine who sent me an email a week or so ago with his epiphany as to why he became part of the culture. Here is what He sent me:

Growing up I definitely loved hip hop, but really did not know why.  I loved nearly everything about it.  I studied it more intense throughout High School and at the age of 18 began to participate in hip hop.  I knew that I wanted to participate in it, and that it is a participation sport.  The only requirement was being yourself.

Now at the the age of 35, KRS 1 helped me now understand why I even liked it in the first place.  It is a deep complex industry now that has transformed multiple times and has had multiple movements in the last 50 years.  Kool Herc adopted a style of deejaying in Jamaica that he brought with him when his family moved to NYC in 1967. He loved the way the deejay interacted with the crowd in Jamaica, and their spin back technique of restarting the record among other things.  No one was going to tell him it was the wrong way to do things in the Bronx because it was his way.  And he liked his way.  Blend one break right into the next, fuck the rest of the song.

Owning your Identity seems like a fairly simple thing to do.  When you DO own your identity, no one or thing can tell you what to do.  Again, this is why I loved hip hop.  No one could tell hip hop what say or what to do.  Now as an adult it is clear as day, that this truly what I loved about hip hop.  You could be yourself, and not only that, it is a requirement to be yourself.

In Middle School (arguably the roughest time in a kids life) kids are flat out mean.  In this age range we see conformity taking shape.  Those who follow to so because they’re scared and don’t understand that they’ve just given up their identity in order to feel safer.  The day I became a man was in the 7th grade. This was the time that I decided no one was going to clown me for ANYTHING.  I was going to own it all, the good along with the bad.  Yes, I have zits.  Yes, I like hip hop (even though I don’t know why) and yes, I masturbate a good deal because it’s new to me and girls won’t sleep with me yet (wait till summer next year lol).  I owned everything.  Dress and style were only as hard as what I liked.  Throw out the rest.  (Just give me the breaks Herc).   My music, My art, My education (fuck yes I get 3.5 so what?), my Mathematics, are all cool.  No matter what, because I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE A FUCKING OPINION.

And so do you.

Be yourself.

Love, Bobby

hip hop

We all have our own experiences and reasons for being part of hip hop whether as a fan or and artist or combination of both.

What made you fall in love with hip hop?

The Remnants vol 1 (unmixed, unmastered, unreleased and barely noticed) Free Album!

The Remnants coverThe Remnants Back

What up people?

I know it’s been an while since I gave you something new to listen to. I’ve been working hard to make sure that whatever I bless your ears with next is truly a blessing. With that being said, this summer I will be self releasing my 5th official full length album A Man Who Think With His Own Mind. It is produced by Tha Sound Cultivator (Ill2lectual). It is our follow up to the Something in the Water  ep released in 2014. I am also finishing up another full length with California artist and producer Lucid Optics as Lucid Logic as well as  working on a book of the lyrics and personal significance of all of my albums. Needless to say there is a lot in store.

In preparation for all of that as a gift to you for your continued support I offer The Remnants vol 1 (unmixed, unmastered, unreleased and barely noticed). This is collection of mostly unreleased songs that I have made at some point over the course of my 17 year career. Some of the songs were left overs that didn’t make the cut of albums. Some are unfinished. Some are rare. Some are appearances from other albums that you may or may not have heard. Some are rare or unheard remixes, poems, etc. This is only the first installment I hope you enjoy it. Please subscribe to the news letter below to receive your link. Thank you for rocking with me.

2 Fingers….

BNTN Tour Journal 10.12.14 : 5 Points for good sound

sound

Being out here on the road seeing openers have a hard time with sound made me think about how to avoid somethings from a performers perspective. I have performed in many venues on many different sound systems around the country. From High School PA systems to some of the nicest club systems you can think of and there are a few points that remain consistent no matter what helping to ensure that you will a have good sound for your show.Of course there are things that will be out of your control, but may times when you are at a show that has bad sound it most likely could have been avoided.  A lot of it has to do with the rapport that you build with the sound person. That relationship is very important in the 6-8 hr journey of the evening and you want the sound person as an alley not an enemy. The best you can do is make sure that you take care of all that you can control and in most case you will be okay. So here in my opinion are five things that you can do to make sure that you won’t have issues with sound at your show…

1. Show up on time for sound check

Sound check is usually an hour and a hlf to two hours prior to doors. There is nothing a sound man hates more than being rushed, especially if hes dealing with people or a person that has no idea of what goes into a solid sound check.  Also, as long as you show up on time you have the time to get everything how you want it to sound.

2. Introduce your self to the sound man

Being nice and personable goes a long way. Don’t give him your rap name either. Show him/her that you are a regular person and you both have the same goal, to make the night go smoothly and sound good in the process.

3. Be prepared

When I go out I have try to have XLR cables, other cables, DI boxes,  my own mic and mic stand. As my needs for my stage show increases so will my equipment that I bring. For example, Blueprint carries his own small mixing board just in case and we have had to use it on at least one occasion. Being prepared goes a long way and it makes sound check run smoothly. Keep in mind some performance venues are not as equipped as others so be prepared for all issues that may arise.

4 Have instrumentals mixed and mastered

Mixing boards only have so much juice that they can pump into the volume so make sure you instrumentals are mixed and mastered to avoid distortion or music sounding weak. Also try to have your instrumentals mastered by the same person to level out the sound. Its not absolutely necessary but it helps.

5. Don’t be an a**hole

Remember the sound man has the power to make you sound amazing or like craps with the turn of a knob so it behooves you to be nice to him/her. Don’t be on stage screaming and cursing at the sound man and expect them to make you sound crispy. In many of these cases you will end up sounding worse if you piss them off. Just be cool if a problem arises that you can’t control. If you have followed all of these steps then the person running sound will do all they can to get things right for you because you built a rapport with them to this point.

Of course there are more points that can be made and more details can be given. I’m sure that if I understood more about sound theory and engineering this list could be 20 or more points, but these are the basics in my opinion from a vocal performers perspective. Hope it helps some. Good luck…

Here are the remaining dates on the Better Now Than Never Tour. Hope to see you guys out!!

10/11 – Eugene, OR @ Luckey’s Club

10/12 – Sacramento CA, @ Blue Lamp

10/13 – San Francisco, CA @ Elbo Room

10/14 – Los Angeles, CA @ Redwood Bar

10/15 – Mesa, AZ @ Club Red

10/16 – Las Vegas, NV @ Beauty Bar

10/17 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Shred Shed

10/18 – Denver, CO @ Lost Lake Lounge

10/19 – Colorado Springs, Co @ Speak Easy

10/20 – Omaha, NB @the Hideout

10/21 – Iowa City, IA — Gabes

10/22 – Chicago, IL @ Jerry’s

10/23 – Madison, WI @ The Sett

10/24 – Green Bay, WI @ JD’s Bar

10/25 – Evansville, IN @ PG Gallery

10/26 – Champaign, IL @ The high dive

Get your priorities right…

priorities 1

     I know I have been absent from writing for a while and its not because I haven’t had anything to say (or had no site at the time). If you read this post completely you will understand.

     My last post was back in February and I asked the question “where are the visionaries?” It wasn’t until a few months later upon rereading that post and going through some personal things,  I realized that I wasn’t as much of a visionary as I thought because my life was out of wack. I was too lost in today and not planning for tomorrow. I could only see to the end of my nose and anything beyond that was of no consequence and I had no idea.

     I have been working on and releasing a lot of music as of late and in that I was caught up to the point that that’s all that I was doing. I was hit by an epiphany a few days ago, that’s all I have been doing for months maybe even the last year or so. I wasn’t finishing my book. I wasn’t working on my performance. I should have been on the road. I was loosing sight of my children’s behavior and progress (or lack thereof) in school.  I was neglecting and taking my wife for granted. Most important of all my spiritual existence was completely an afterthought. My relationship with my creator faded in to the background of me writing and recoding songs. Really Jawhar? (I talk to my self out loud at times) I wasn’t doing any of the things that had got me to the point of my life where I felt like I was happy. I was losing myself in my art and my person was suffering for it. Unfortunately and fortunately it took me a year or so to realize it but, once I did it smacked me in the face with a force that stopped me in my tracks like a dear in headlights.

priorities 3

     As I looked at where I was in my life i saw an absolute mess. Figuratively and literally. My studio was a wreck. My career had lost steam since Capture the Sum dropped. My relationship with my children was not where it was supposed to. I was losing my wife. I had blinders on just going through the motions acting like everything was OK. And it wasn’t. It was the farthest thing from it. So I came to the conclusion that my priorities were disheveled so that I didn’t recognize myself once I took the time to actually look. I was utterly lost.

     I am of the belief that as the head of this family if my priorities are off then that disrupts the flow and serenity of the entire household. Once I became aware of this it was almost too late, but I believe that this was revealed to me when it was supposed to.

     So I say all of that to say this…I have still been writing and recording, but a resent talk with Blueprint has gotten me to be more attentive to and focused on the longevity of my career and most importantly my family’s needs. I am working on rebuilding closeness and intimacy with my wife. I am more active in my children’s lives as far as knowing what they need and above all I am rebuilding my relationship with my creator and that is where it all has to begin. I know that without my spirit being in line and allowed to grow I will continue to be lost. All that we have on this earth is a gift and if you lose sight of the gift giver then you won’t appreciate what you have nor will you have an understanding of how to feed and develop your gift for it to reach its full potential. So I will start to share more as I am on this new exciting journey of growth and maturity. Please get your priorities in order or you will end up losing or getting lost in the very purpose that your think your are working for.

Where are the visionaries?

looking-up-eyes-faceVast fields and endless forests coated the earths surface hundreds of thousands of years ago. The planet was the home of animals and plant life with humans yet to be created. Then God breathed life into the earth and man was born. In order for man to survive he had to see beyond the horizon. He had to see what was not there. He had to have faith in the work of his hands. He had to be a visionary.

The building of shelter.  The development of weapons and other technology. The carving out of mans place in the world had to be seen before it was done for better or for worse. As man has evolved so then has his capacity for ideas to further the human experience again for better or for worse. Human beings are said to be at the top of the evolutionary ladder and in that we continue to find ways to explore new outlets for our creativity, our survival and unfortunately our destruction. Mans ambition is his greatest asset, but not understanding that there should be limits to that ambition is his greatest downfall. There is always room for progression. One should not place barriers on what they can achieve, but gluttony is a prison that is not easily escaped. Overindulgence and greed is a topic for another post that I will cover in the days to come.

The problem that I see is that the layman is no longer the visionary that he used to be. I am not speaking of anything grandiose like the invention of the aircraft or light bulb, I am speaking of the simplicity of seeing past your current situation. I am talking about man seeing himself better tomorrow than he is today and putting in the work to ensure the achievement of that desired improvement.

Too often we don’t see past where we are. Too often we don’t have the faith to build something to leave our children to be proud of. We all have the capacity to see beyond our own perceived limitations, but in most cases that ability is used either not at all or for trivial things, not things that will cement our legacy even in the minds closest to us.

Just as the Egyptians foresaw the pyramids of Egypt looking over an empty desert;Just as Civil Rights activist saw/see a world of inclusion in a climate of turmoil and conflict; so can you see a tomorrow that is bright and brilliant.

Many people find it hard so see past their currant experience or if they do they have a lot of hope with out any action behind that hope. I urge you to be radical. I urge you to see your self as more than you are today. I urge you to dream and work until that dream is realized. I urge you to know that you current situation is not the end of the line, but a building block to be used to reach new heights. Don’t put limits on yourself. In many cases we as people don’t progress because we are limited in out thinking. We do not see the Forrest for the trees. We only see what is right in front of of us, ignoring the beauty and possibilities of the world around us.

The book of life is full of blank pages. What will your story be? What will you leave as your imprint for those who follow or are you content with being Forgotten? See who you want to be in the minds of those who will come after you and become that. Work to be come that vision of yourself. Leave your children and your children’s children something to be proud of.

The Burden of Trust…Part one

trust 2With a sincere smile plastered across my face and a firm handshake given at first hello strangers are greeted. You can see the care in my eyes when we first cross paths as if we are long lost family members in each others presence for the first time. There is a genuine love for the human experience present when I encounter someone new. A blind trust drips from my speech in a way that some call naive, but I believe at their core all people are decent and that seems to be my down fall. I jump into that belief with both feet without the security of a parachute and no fear of the fall that may occur. I just see all people as good, taking no stock in the bridges I have had to burn in the past. There is something to be said about my undying faith in a human being as they are. I know that we are not perfect. I know that everyone does not have my best interest at heart, but I stand on the unshakeable encouragement that we have a concrete care for one another; that we all want to see each other succeed in life in some way. Even in the eyes of utter disdain I try to find a silver lining. I try my best to see the glass half full to a fault, so much so that I seem to get taken advantage of. My trust in the word of human beings is seen as a weakness, as an open door for exploitation for which I have no one to blame but myself.

I guess it’s because I actually believe in the mantra “treat people how you want to be treated” too much. I want to be seen as credible because I deserve to be; because I actually am. I am a loyal person that loves unconditionally and with my whole heart. I know that there are flaws in human beings because I have many myself, but I don’t interact with people based on the assumption that they are flawed. I don’t look for the short comings of those that come in contact with. I take you how you are and I give you the benefit of the doubt, but to what end? How many times must I watch people cast their honor in to the sea before I start to question the motive of any and everyone? With the amount of broken promises and empty words that I have encountered in my life it is a wonder that I am not more cynical when it comes to my dealings with people. It is amazing that I don’t give everyone the side eye when they say what they can and will do. I’m just not built like that. I am built to forgive and have faith. I am built to hope and dream that a better tomorrow is on the horizon for us all and I will do all that is in my power to help you get there. I have always thought in the terms of “We” not “I” and that is my Achilles heal. That is what has held me back in some respects.

trust1Many of you are aware and many of you are not of the departing of Manifest from Weightless who was on third of the original group greenhouse effect. Manifest was a part of our movement from the beginning. He was a integral part in the building of the brand of Weightless recordings. Over the years from the inception of our label we developed a brotherhood that we believed to be unshakable and uncompromising. To make a long story short, it was discovered that he was stealing from the company. He basically disregarded all that we had worked for to a point that the faith that we had in each other as a unit was tested. This unbridled betrayal created a rift between all of us that has since been repaired between Blueprint and I, but how we deal with people outside of our immediate core has been forever altered. This among other things has shaken my faith.

I am starting to look at the world with open eyes, but a somewhat closed heart and I hate it because it goes against my nature. This is due to there being only so much abuse one can take. There is only so much love you can give without reciprocation. You can only be so true for so long while being stepped on or overlooked. At some point something has to change. At some point the gate has to be closed where only those with the secret password can enter because lately I have had to burn too many bridges. I have had to become something that I have always despised, a skeptic.

I am lucky to have the people around me that I do. My inner circle it one of strength and support. I have a loving Wife and family that nurture my hope in human beings, but confront me with the question of how long? How long will you give credence to those undeserving? How long will you allow your heart to broken by the revelation that people are not all rainbows and cotton balls? The answer is no more. No more will I just take you at your word. I have to guard my hope in people in order to not become a shadow of myself.  I have to put up walls around my love so it is not completely invaded by the tragic misleadings of a society that only values the progression of self. I have discovered that it is one thing to have general faith in random humans, but it another to have faith in them implicitly. I am still a firm believer that at our core we are all good, but in reality our quest for greatness can get in the way of that goodness. Our want and need to progress can be a hindrance to our basic nature of love. I pray that my children are not turned off to love. I hope that my children do not become hardened to the human experience. Desensitization has become a disease in our society that allows us have no emotional attachment to how the choices we make affects others. I know that there is a general positive energy that is strong in the world and I still believe that it can be harnessed and change that fabric of our existence. I want to again be that fully faithful swan diver with no parachute again, but it’s hard when the winds continue the whip and whirl me in the opposite direction.

So what side of the coin are you on?  Are you a person that strengthens the resolve of the village or do you hold a book of matches in hand waiting to set fire to the structure of an open heart? Do you hold the progression of all in high regard or is the advancement of self you primary goal? We can all believe again. We can all rise as one, but we have to put “I” aside sometimes. Not all of the time, but sometimes. “I’ has it’s place but, there cannot always be a search for backs to step on. There has to be a sincere want to one day be the boost that catapults someone else to their goals. I take pride in the surety that there will be a revolution of selflessness, but I realize that there is still a long way to go.

Become a Master of Something…

Bruce-Lee

Mastery

  • n.noun
    1. Possession of consummate skill.
    2. The status of master or ruler; control.
    3. Full command of a subject of study.

My oldest son has an affinity for the study of sports video games. Any time he picks up the play station controller he wants to be the best. He wants to be the ruler of the domain of Madden 25, for example, to the point that whenever he gets a chance he practices. He won’t play actual games, but he works on the practice simulation and when he does play he wants to play against the best players that he can to measure where he is in his ability to manipulate the joy stick to do his bidding so he comes out victorious. He doesn’t always win so when he loses, again I see him practicing, working on his game until he reaches his goal. When it comes to his school as well work there are times when he falls short as all of us do, I see a drive in him to not settle for the mediocre. No matter what he does in life I see that he will not settle until he is at the pinnacle of what he is trying to achieve no matter how long it takes. He wants to be the best. He does this in every aspect of his life I have noticed as treks toward perfection in all that he attempts. His journey has not been and will not always be smooth. I have been there to see the barricades, road blocks and short comings, but he has an unwavering faith in the possibility of his ability to achieve.Knowing this, when I see that he is stifled he brushes himself off and continues on his quest to victory.

I admire him because as adults, we have a tendency to place limits on ourselves that we pass on to our children as an infectious disease. Many times we infect them inadvertently because many of us have the “do as I say and not as I do” way of teaching. We as adults often settle because we feel that we have no other recourse. We feel that our time has passed so continuing to press toward a dream is of no consequence when we have a mortgage to pay or an electric bill due. Of course that is reality, but we cannot lose our drive to become proficient in something or many things in our lives. His drive is feeding me. As his father it is my job to nurture his ongoing internal engine and I cannot achieve this if I am not staving to be a master in my own right.

In order to become a master of anything there has to be a realized passion present. No one can become a virtuoso in a field or practice that they are not passionate about it. You can’t even begin the journey if there isn’t at least an inkling of interest. There must be an overall presence of conviction that seeps from your pours to the point that it is etched into the fabric of who you are. This conviction is not always present in the initial stages of development, but as one drives closer to the goal of mastery a passion can develop. Live in the moment and define it. Allow your presence to saturate all that is around you and allow all that is around you to saturate you because in order to become a master one has to first be a student. There in lies our issue. No one wants to be a student any more. Everyone wants to start out as a Master, but a master that refuses instruction is as a flower that refuses pollen.

Many people walk through life thinking that they are already adept in all that they do, but in reality they haven’t buckled down to really learn anything. I mean really learn. When my son gets a new video game he studies it. He hunkers down in his room and for the time allotted to him to play he studies and practices. He jumps in with both feet. This is what we have to do as people. We have to find what we want to gain expertise in and dive in full bodied. Remove all distraction and learn. Devise a plan that will allow you the place and time to learn and become a master.

Mastery takes patience. One does not gain full comprehension of anything overnight. Albert Einstein said, “Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.” There is a fear that exists in us that is stifling, preventing the giving all of ourselves to something. That fear has to die. Recently, I read a piece by my friend Al Shepard, many of you know him as Blueprint, called Fear Comes in Many Disguises. In it he says,

 Fear is a natural human response (to) unknown outcomes. As we take these situations  into consideration, our minds make sure we have assessed the possible outcomes.  This is human nature and a mostly positive survival instinct.  However, there is a point where fear in our current context is given too much power.  That happens when we begin to fear the possible negative outcomes more than the potential gains.  Even worse, we begin to take on a dialog that hides these fears as something other than what they really are.

This struck a chord with me because fear can be why we don’t make an attempt to become proficient in anything. There is the fear of failure. There is the fear of inadequacy. There is also, weirdly enough, the fear of success. I have suffered and still do suffer from this fear at different points in my life and that fear has held me back from becoming the master that I am supposed to be in certain things, but seeing my son push and practice that game reminds me that the journey is long, tiring and at times repetitive, but as long as the passion is alive in me the voyage is never over.

We live in a microwave society that does not value mastery. In reality, society does not value much at all. Everywhere is a factory the spits out as many robots as possible with minimal skill in the craft that they were constructed for. From reality television to college campuses this world has become an assembly line for the construction of mediocre pods of empty ability and only a yearn to be scene for the succubus’ of the world to feed off of until they are used up. Then there is movement to the next pod. So how long will you allow the world to feed off of you? When will you make the decision to become something bigger that just another human. Being. We are destined for more than that. We just have to make a point to want to be. So this year, take a note out of my son’s book and work to become a master of something. Don’t just be a “jack of all trades.” Don’t just be content in knowing enough to get by. Buckle down and work toward perfecting a passion. Become what you were always meant to become; A master.

 

Journal entry 8/7/13: Poem- Empty Streets

Empty streets are full of nobody’sempty street
Looking for somebody to hold
Variations of lonely are a great flood
Engulfing souls for 40 days and nights
The lights flash but tomorrow never dies

Lies are neighbors knocking on doors to borrow cups of sugar
The bigger the barrier the more challenging the climb
The more lessons learned on the way
Keep me in your prayers
Kneeling
hands folded
Eyes closed
Cause I’ve never seen a unicorn dance with such grace and I’m afraid its all a dream
As The lights flash
But Tomorrow never dies

Carry me far away from these reflections of the empty
Nothingness wrapped in rainbows
You want to be all you can in theory
but u keep running from yourself
And there in lies the crime
Passion is a high wire walk with no fear
While the lights flash only guaranteeing that tomorrow never dies

I’m here for a reason
To hold your hand and let u know its going to be ok
To let you know that your tomorrow is bright and brilliant
To show you that there is no comfort in success.
To show you that there is hope in the pain that you endure for the night because joy rides bareback on the morning light.

Embrace the life of the Flashing light in tomorrow

 

Make sure to Catch us in your city…Remaining tour dates below…

Weds Aug 7th – San Diego, CA @ Soda Bar | https://www.facebook.com/events/240274046097961/

Thur. Aug 8th – Flagstaff, AZ @ Green Room | http://on.fb.me/15HgD3k

Fri. Aug 9th-  Los Angeles, CA @ The Airliner | http://on.fb.me/16AsWkb

Sat. Aug 10th – Oakland,CA @ The Legionnaire Saloon | http://on.fb.me/1cobaC4

Mon. Aug 12th – Boise, ID @ The Shredder | http://on.fb.me/1aOWSwm 

Tue. Aug 13th – Spokane,WA @ Carr’s Corner | http://on.fb.me/10WJcgY

Wed. Aug 14th – Missoula, MT @ Stage 112 | http://on.fb.me/15HgSeE

Thur. Aug 15th – Salt Lake City, UT @ The Project | http://on.fb.me/10m6sSW

Fri. Aug 16th Ketchum,ID @ Whiskey Jacques | http://on.fb.me/14uzjDO

Sat. Aug 17th – Bozeman,MT @ Zebra Cocktail Lounge | http://on.fb.me/11OupQz

Sun. Aug 18th – Great Falls, MT @ Machinery Row | http://on.fb.me/1aOX9zj

Tues. Aug 20th – Fargo, ND @ The Aquarium |  http://on.fb.me/12DT0Xb

Wed. Aug 21st – Sioux Falls, SD @ Billy Frogs | http://on.fb.me/121rZNl

Thur. Aug 22nd – Duluth,MN @ Red Star | http://on.fb.me/10m6CK5

Fri. Aug 23rd – Green Bay,WI @ JD’s Bar | http://on.fb.me/19vs4T1

Sat. Aug 24th – Minneapolis,MN @ Pour House | http://on.fb.me/10WJCUo

Mon Aug 26th – Grand Rapids, MI @ Pyramid Scheme | http://on.fb.me/1aOXhyV

Weds. Aug 28th – Boston, MA @ Middle East Upstairs

Friday Aug 30th – Pittsburgh, PA @ Thunderbird Cafe

Sat. Aug 31st – Buffalo,NY @ Duke’s Bohemian Grove Bar | http://on.fb.me/10m6L03

Sun Sept 1st – Erie, PA @ Crooked I

Journal Entry 7/30/13: The Road. The Sacrifice.

IMAG0020Don’t get me wrong, I love being out here traveling the country rocking the stage for the fans and getting to meet them, putting some faces with names. Getting paid to do something I love is an absolute plus. Even getting a little time to my self away from the everyday pressures of life even for a moment is cathartic in a sense, But the road can be a lonely place. I love the time that I get to bond with my brothers out here facing and overcoming adversity and/or having those special moments where we have the perfect night. The sound is perfect. The openers or dope. A healthy crowd is there to have fun with us. Merch is moving from the table and we kill our sets.There is nothing like that feeling when your out on the road.

But for me as a family man there is a lot that I sacrifice to be out here. For me it is a catch 22. On one hand being on the road is something that I have missed for the past few years that I haven’t been out. This is the best job in the world and I wouldn’t want to trade it for any other job. I feel like I am out here fulfilling purpose. I have always thought that this is what I am called to do and to be out here doing it, planting seeds with the gift that God has given me is an amazing feeling.

On the other hand I miss my family. All of the little things that annoy me when I am 20130406_172630home I miss. How Ironic. I miss my children waking me at 8 in the morning asking to play video games. I miss hearing them bicker over nothing just as brothers do. I miss there individualness shining through them with a blinding hue…I miss my boys immensely.

I miss my wife terribly. I miss here morning attitude cause she hates mornings, especially if she has to go to work. I miss her smile. I miss seeing here talk to me. I miss here touch. I miss her little quirks that annoy me, most of which I can’t mention with out suffering her wrath when I get home. I miss her warmth. I just miss her.

Many fans don’t know and maybe some do, but as artist, especially those with families sacrifice much to be out here with you. Some of us have families that we leave to come and spend time with you because we love you as well. We appreciate you loving us and supporting us and what we love, so our way of showing it is to continue to put out music that we hope you will love and come and see you a few times a year. In that we leave 20130726_234247much of what makes up the artist that you support behind. Without our families we would not be the people that we are. Without or families some of us would not have the drive to be the very best at what we do and we leave all of the love and all of the comfort of our domestic family to be with our musical family. Though there is love and admiration out here on the road it is not the same. Many of my friends that are artist have children and wife’s that they leave to come and play for you and take pictures with you love it. But never discount the sacrifice that that person is making to take that picture and perform your favorite song. In 2004 I missed the birth of my youngest son. I was on the road and he was about a month old the first time I saw him. This is what prompted my 5 year hiatus and had me close to retiring, but I am an artist. I can not walk away from purpose like that. I am learning to balance the passion for my family with the passion of my music. It is a constant struggle but to see the looks on the fans when we have a show in their city or seeing the look on my wife’s and children’s faces when I finally come home makes it all worth it.