Get your priorities right…

priorities 1

     I know I have been absent from writing for a while and its not because I haven’t had anything to say (or had no site at the time). If you read this post completely you will understand.

     My last post was back in February and I asked the question “where are the visionaries?” It wasn’t until a few months later upon rereading that post and going through some personal things,  I realized that I wasn’t as much of a visionary as I thought because my life was out of wack. I was too lost in today and not planning for tomorrow. I could only see to the end of my nose and anything beyond that was of no consequence and I had no idea.

     I have been working on and releasing a lot of music as of late and in that I was caught up to the point that that’s all that I was doing. I was hit by an epiphany a few days ago, that’s all I have been doing for months maybe even the last year or so. I wasn’t finishing my book. I wasn’t working on my performance. I should have been on the road. I was loosing sight of my children’s behavior and progress (or lack thereof) in school.  I was neglecting and taking my wife for granted. Most important of all my spiritual existence was completely an afterthought. My relationship with my creator faded in to the background of me writing and recoding songs. Really Jawhar? (I talk to my self out loud at times) I wasn’t doing any of the things that had got me to the point of my life where I felt like I was happy. I was losing myself in my art and my person was suffering for it. Unfortunately and fortunately it took me a year or so to realize it but, once I did it smacked me in the face with a force that stopped me in my tracks like a dear in headlights.

priorities 3

     As I looked at where I was in my life i saw an absolute mess. Figuratively and literally. My studio was a wreck. My career had lost steam since Capture the Sum dropped. My relationship with my children was not where it was supposed to. I was losing my wife. I had blinders on just going through the motions acting like everything was OK. And it wasn’t. It was the farthest thing from it. So I came to the conclusion that my priorities were disheveled so that I didn’t recognize myself once I took the time to actually look. I was utterly lost.

     I am of the belief that as the head of this family if my priorities are off then that disrupts the flow and serenity of the entire household. Once I became aware of this it was almost too late, but I believe that this was revealed to me when it was supposed to.

     So I say all of that to say this…I have still been writing and recording, but a resent talk with Blueprint has gotten me to be more attentive to and focused on the longevity of my career and most importantly my family’s needs. I am working on rebuilding closeness and intimacy with my wife. I am more active in my children’s lives as far as knowing what they need and above all I am rebuilding my relationship with my creator and that is where it all has to begin. I know that without my spirit being in line and allowed to grow I will continue to be lost. All that we have on this earth is a gift and if you lose sight of the gift giver then you won’t appreciate what you have nor will you have an understanding of how to feed and develop your gift for it to reach its full potential. So I will start to share more as I am on this new exciting journey of growth and maturity. Please get your priorities in order or you will end up losing or getting lost in the very purpose that your think your are working for.

Where are the visionaries?

looking-up-eyes-faceVast fields and endless forests coated the earths surface hundreds of thousands of years ago. The planet was the home of animals and plant life with humans yet to be created. Then God breathed life into the earth and man was born. In order for man to survive he had to see beyond the horizon. He had to see what was not there. He had to have faith in the work of his hands. He had to be a visionary.

The building of shelter.  The development of weapons and other technology. The carving out of mans place in the world had to be seen before it was done for better or for worse. As man has evolved so then has his capacity for ideas to further the human experience again for better or for worse. Human beings are said to be at the top of the evolutionary ladder and in that we continue to find ways to explore new outlets for our creativity, our survival and unfortunately our destruction. Mans ambition is his greatest asset, but not understanding that there should be limits to that ambition is his greatest downfall. There is always room for progression. One should not place barriers on what they can achieve, but gluttony is a prison that is not easily escaped. Overindulgence and greed is a topic for another post that I will cover in the days to come.

The problem that I see is that the layman is no longer the visionary that he used to be. I am not speaking of anything grandiose like the invention of the aircraft or light bulb, I am speaking of the simplicity of seeing past your current situation. I am talking about man seeing himself better tomorrow than he is today and putting in the work to ensure the achievement of that desired improvement.

Too often we don’t see past where we are. Too often we don’t have the faith to build something to leave our children to be proud of. We all have the capacity to see beyond our own perceived limitations, but in most cases that ability is used either not at all or for trivial things, not things that will cement our legacy even in the minds closest to us.

Just as the Egyptians foresaw the pyramids of Egypt looking over an empty desert;Just as Civil Rights activist saw/see a world of inclusion in a climate of turmoil and conflict; so can you see a tomorrow that is bright and brilliant.

Many people find it hard so see past their currant experience or if they do they have a lot of hope with out any action behind that hope. I urge you to be radical. I urge you to see your self as more than you are today. I urge you to dream and work until that dream is realized. I urge you to know that you current situation is not the end of the line, but a building block to be used to reach new heights. Don’t put limits on yourself. In many cases we as people don’t progress because we are limited in out thinking. We do not see the Forrest for the trees. We only see what is right in front of of us, ignoring the beauty and possibilities of the world around us.

The book of life is full of blank pages. What will your story be? What will you leave as your imprint for those who follow or are you content with being Forgotten? See who you want to be in the minds of those who will come after you and become that. Work to be come that vision of yourself. Leave your children and your children’s children something to be proud of.

The Burden of Trust…Part one

trust 2With a sincere smile plastered across my face and a firm handshake given at first hello strangers are greeted. You can see the care in my eyes when we first cross paths as if we are long lost family members in each others presence for the first time. There is a genuine love for the human experience present when I encounter someone new. A blind trust drips from my speech in a way that some call naive, but I believe at their core all people are decent and that seems to be my down fall. I jump into that belief with both feet without the security of a parachute and no fear of the fall that may occur. I just see all people as good, taking no stock in the bridges I have had to burn in the past. There is something to be said about my undying faith in a human being as they are. I know that we are not perfect. I know that everyone does not have my best interest at heart, but I stand on the unshakeable encouragement that we have a concrete care for one another; that we all want to see each other succeed in life in some way. Even in the eyes of utter disdain I try to find a silver lining. I try my best to see the glass half full to a fault, so much so that I seem to get taken advantage of. My trust in the word of human beings is seen as a weakness, as an open door for exploitation for which I have no one to blame but myself.

I guess it’s because I actually believe in the mantra “treat people how you want to be treated” too much. I want to be seen as credible because I deserve to be; because I actually am. I am a loyal person that loves unconditionally and with my whole heart. I know that there are flaws in human beings because I have many myself, but I don’t interact with people based on the assumption that they are flawed. I don’t look for the short comings of those that come in contact with. I take you how you are and I give you the benefit of the doubt, but to what end? How many times must I watch people cast their honor in to the sea before I start to question the motive of any and everyone? With the amount of broken promises and empty words that I have encountered in my life it is a wonder that I am not more cynical when it comes to my dealings with people. It is amazing that I don’t give everyone the side eye when they say what they can and will do. I’m just not built like that. I am built to forgive and have faith. I am built to hope and dream that a better tomorrow is on the horizon for us all and I will do all that is in my power to help you get there. I have always thought in the terms of “We” not “I” and that is my Achilles heal. That is what has held me back in some respects.

trust1Many of you are aware and many of you are not of the departing of Manifest from Weightless who was on third of the original group greenhouse effect. Manifest was a part of our movement from the beginning. He was a integral part in the building of the brand of Weightless recordings. Over the years from the inception of our label we developed a brotherhood that we believed to be unshakable and uncompromising. To make a long story short, it was discovered that he was stealing from the company. He basically disregarded all that we had worked for to a point that the faith that we had in each other as a unit was tested. This unbridled betrayal created a rift between all of us that has since been repaired between Blueprint and I, but how we deal with people outside of our immediate core has been forever altered. This among other things has shaken my faith.

I am starting to look at the world with open eyes, but a somewhat closed heart and I hate it because it goes against my nature. This is due to there being only so much abuse one can take. There is only so much love you can give without reciprocation. You can only be so true for so long while being stepped on or overlooked. At some point something has to change. At some point the gate has to be closed where only those with the secret password can enter because lately I have had to burn too many bridges. I have had to become something that I have always despised, a skeptic.

I am lucky to have the people around me that I do. My inner circle it one of strength and support. I have a loving Wife and family that nurture my hope in human beings, but confront me with the question of how long? How long will you give credence to those undeserving? How long will you allow your heart to broken by the revelation that people are not all rainbows and cotton balls? The answer is no more. No more will I just take you at your word. I have to guard my hope in people in order to not become a shadow of myself.  I have to put up walls around my love so it is not completely invaded by the tragic misleadings of a society that only values the progression of self. I have discovered that it is one thing to have general faith in random humans, but it another to have faith in them implicitly. I am still a firm believer that at our core we are all good, but in reality our quest for greatness can get in the way of that goodness. Our want and need to progress can be a hindrance to our basic nature of love. I pray that my children are not turned off to love. I hope that my children do not become hardened to the human experience. Desensitization has become a disease in our society that allows us have no emotional attachment to how the choices we make affects others. I know that there is a general positive energy that is strong in the world and I still believe that it can be harnessed and change that fabric of our existence. I want to again be that fully faithful swan diver with no parachute again, but it’s hard when the winds continue the whip and whirl me in the opposite direction.

So what side of the coin are you on?  Are you a person that strengthens the resolve of the village or do you hold a book of matches in hand waiting to set fire to the structure of an open heart? Do you hold the progression of all in high regard or is the advancement of self you primary goal? We can all believe again. We can all rise as one, but we have to put “I” aside sometimes. Not all of the time, but sometimes. “I’ has it’s place but, there cannot always be a search for backs to step on. There has to be a sincere want to one day be the boost that catapults someone else to their goals. I take pride in the surety that there will be a revolution of selflessness, but I realize that there is still a long way to go.

Journal Entry 8/3/13: Be who you are. Envy no one.

be-yourself     We live in a world inundated with images of who we are supposed to be. Who we are supposed to idolize. Who we are supposed to model ourselves after. we are told, Buy this brand of shoe because the cool people buy them. Wear this brand of shirt because Jay-Z said it in a song. You should be this skinny because all of the beautiful people are skinny and you want to be beautiful right? Listen to this music because it sounds like everything else and and you don’t have to think to do it. Who cares about original anymore? Original does not have “SWAG” in the eyes of society though ironically swag is really about originality.

We as a society allow those in control to put us in a box. We willfully march single file in perfect syncopation and sip the kool aid. We sit and the box waiting for some one else to tell us who we are. We wait for someone else to tell us what cool is. Whats the new trends. It is so easy to get caught up in the societal ideal of a human being because its in our nature to want to be accepted by our peers. It’s part of Maslovs hierarchy of needs. But it was also in our nature to be innovative and want to do new things. Its in us to discover new ways of live and in that we find ourselves and our purpose.

I posted on twitter and Facebook the other day that “God give everyone gifts. everyone’s gift is not rapping….Find your gift and rep it…”. I got a  responses on my Facebook saying things like “anyone can do anything they put their mind too” and I agree. I agree that we are capable of learning and doing almost anything, but does that mean that we will be the best at anything we do? I believe that we all have purpose and things flow naturally when you are in the process of Capture the Sun, the process of fulfilling that purpose. You can do anything but will (insert deity/belief system here) breath on what you are doing if that’s not where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be doing? People are so quick to jump on the bandwagon of what they want to do just because “they can put their mind to it” as opposed to really looking at and finding what they are supposed to do. Your mind could be better used in the avenue it is supposed to be used in. This way it will blossom to its full capacity.

Be proud of who you are. Be invested in who you are. Really take time to find yourself and develop yourself to a point that no one can mistake you for being something that your not. Live your destiny, don’t live the shadows of someone elses. I talk a lot about legacy in my life and in my music because I want to leave a mark. I want people to know that Jawhar was here, I can’t do that by being someone I’m not because I will not be remembered. I’m going for the branding of souls type legacy. I teach my children that there is no other you on this planet, in this galaxy, in this universe. Work everyday to be the best you you can be. Work everyday to be a better you than you were the day before. Find you own voice and stop just being an echo. Echos fade in the distance but an individual voice will live infinitely.

“Be who you are and envy no one. Just reach for the stars and capture the sun”

Journal Entry 7/30/13: The Road. The Sacrifice.

IMAG0020Don’t get me wrong, I love being out here traveling the country rocking the stage for the fans and getting to meet them, putting some faces with names. Getting paid to do something I love is an absolute plus. Even getting a little time to my self away from the everyday pressures of life even for a moment is cathartic in a sense, But the road can be a lonely place. I love the time that I get to bond with my brothers out here facing and overcoming adversity and/or having those special moments where we have the perfect night. The sound is perfect. The openers or dope. A healthy crowd is there to have fun with us. Merch is moving from the table and we kill our sets.There is nothing like that feeling when your out on the road.

But for me as a family man there is a lot that I sacrifice to be out here. For me it is a catch 22. On one hand being on the road is something that I have missed for the past few years that I haven’t been out. This is the best job in the world and I wouldn’t want to trade it for any other job. I feel like I am out here fulfilling purpose. I have always thought that this is what I am called to do and to be out here doing it, planting seeds with the gift that God has given me is an amazing feeling.

On the other hand I miss my family. All of the little things that annoy me when I am 20130406_172630home I miss. How Ironic. I miss my children waking me at 8 in the morning asking to play video games. I miss hearing them bicker over nothing just as brothers do. I miss there individualness shining through them with a blinding hue…I miss my boys immensely.

I miss my wife terribly. I miss here morning attitude cause she hates mornings, especially if she has to go to work. I miss her smile. I miss seeing here talk to me. I miss here touch. I miss her little quirks that annoy me, most of which I can’t mention with out suffering her wrath when I get home. I miss her warmth. I just miss her.

Many fans don’t know and maybe some do, but as artist, especially those with families sacrifice much to be out here with you. Some of us have families that we leave to come and spend time with you because we love you as well. We appreciate you loving us and supporting us and what we love, so our way of showing it is to continue to put out music that we hope you will love and come and see you a few times a year. In that we leave 20130726_234247much of what makes up the artist that you support behind. Without our families we would not be the people that we are. Without or families some of us would not have the drive to be the very best at what we do and we leave all of the love and all of the comfort of our domestic family to be with our musical family. Though there is love and admiration out here on the road it is not the same. Many of my friends that are artist have children and wife’s that they leave to come and play for you and take pictures with you love it. But never discount the sacrifice that that person is making to take that picture and perform your favorite song. In 2004 I missed the birth of my youngest son. I was on the road and he was about a month old the first time I saw him. This is what prompted my 5 year hiatus and had me close to retiring, but I am an artist. I can not walk away from purpose like that. I am learning to balance the passion for my family with the passion of my music. It is a constant struggle but to see the looks on the fans when we have a show in their city or seeing the look on my wife’s and children’s faces when I finally come home makes it all worth it.

Journal Entry 7/27/13: Welcome to Asheville

AshevilleSignAsheville, Nc is one of those places that if you visit once you never forget. It’s a small city of about 100,000 so the community is really close and really liberal. A lot of people call it a hippie Town. The people have beautiful spirits and would give you the shirt off of their back if it came down to it. It has the feel and closeness of a neighborhood. The last time I was here was about 10 years ago with E&A and I played with Blueprint and the original Greenhouse Effect a few years before that. We played this spot called the Music Zone back then. It was the spot a perfect venue. The perfect size for the Perfect people. This time we played a spot called Timo’s House (http://timoshouse.com/) and I think this is the new spot in Asheville, for us at least. Its a nice size bar with a small stage. Very intimate. It was thick in there and people in Asheville love to dance. Blueprint and I killed and Dj Rare groove closed out the night with a dance party like only he can do. It was a great night.

This weekend they were having the Bele Chere Arts and Music Festival (http://www.belecherefestival.com/) which is a large festival that they have had in this town for over 35 years. For Columbus heads it’s like if Comfest span our whole downtown. It was full of awesome venders, art and fun music. We got to hang out for a while and it was a really good time. I was told that during this festival the population of the city grows from 100,000 to 300,000 people so it was great time for us to play. During my time exploring the festival I wrote a little poem that describes the diversity of the festival and the city itself…

Strollers pushed by teenage mothers and or nuclear family members
Mimes painted silver frozen for change
Violins loop as a tilt a whirl whirling notes of a tomorrow remembered
Sun dresses kids in khaki shorts and tanks
Topless matriarchs bear their hearts cage screaming freedom
Intellectuals discuss philosophy on street corners no matter how misguided or off kilter they seem
Off key karaoke religious zealots only sharing the anger of God and forfeiting his love loosing souls with fear camouflaging their message.
Only on a beautiful day in Asheville.

More to come. You can still catch the “Bend but Don’t break Tour when it hits your city…

Sat. July 27th – Johnson City,TN @ Mecca Lounge | http://on.fb.me/1aOWspP

Sun. July 28th – Nashville, TN @ The East Room | http://on.fb.me/15BOQ5L

Weds. July 31st – Dallas, TX @ Crown and Garp | https://www.facebook.com/events/295176187295037

Thurs Aug 1st – Austin, TX @ ND Austin | http://on.fb.me/14yggsA

Friday Aug 2nd – San Marcos, TX @ The Triple Crown | http://on.fb.me/17nVON1

Sat. Aug 3rd – San Antonio, TX @ The Limelight | http://on.fb.me/10WINv0 

Sun. Aug 4th – El Paso, TX @ Tricky Falls w/ Souls of Mischief | http://on.fb.me/14YvgCr

Mon. Aug 5th – Santa Fe, NM @ The Lodge at Santa Fe Cabaret | http://on.fb.me/15HguwJ

Tue. Aug  6th – Las Vegas, NV @ LVCS | http://on.fb.me/11Ou9RH

Weds Aug 7th – San Diego, CA @ Soda Bar | https://www.facebook.com/events/240274046097961/

Thur. Aug 8th – Flagstaff, AZ @ Green Room | http://on.fb.me/15HgD3k

Fri. Aug 9th-  Los Angeles, CA @ The Airliner | http://on.fb.me/16AsWkb

Sat. Aug 10th – Oakland,CA @ The Legionnaire Saloon | http://on.fb.me/1cobaC4

Mon. Aug 12th – Boise, ID @ The Shredder | http://on.fb.me/1aOWSwm 

Tue. Aug 13th – Spokane,WA @ Carr’s Corner | http://on.fb.me/10WJcgY

Wed. Aug 14th – Missoula, MT @ Stage 112 | http://on.fb.me/15HgSeE

Thur. Aug 15th – Salt Lake City, UT @ The Project | http://on.fb.me/10m6sSW

Fri. Aug 16th Ketchum,ID @ Whiskey Jacques | http://on.fb.me/14uzjDO

Sat. Aug 17th – Bozeman,MT @ Zebra Cocktail Lounge | http://on.fb.me/11OupQz

Sun. Aug 18th – Great Falls, MT @ Machinery Row | http://on.fb.me/1aOX9zj

Tues. Aug 20th – Fargo, ND @ The Aquarium |  http://on.fb.me/12DT0Xb

Wed. Aug 21st – Sioux Falls, SD @ Billy Frogs | http://on.fb.me/121rZNl

Thur. Aug 22nd – Duluth,MN @ Red Star | http://on.fb.me/10m6CK5

Fri. Aug 23rd – Green Bay,WI @ JD’s Bar | http://on.fb.me/19vs4T1

Sat. Aug 24th – Minneapolis,MN @ Pour House | http://on.fb.me/10WJCUo

Mon Aug 26th – Grand Rapids, MI @ Pyramid Scheme | http://on.fb.me/1aOXhyV

Weds. Aug 28th – Boston, MA @ Middle East Upstairs

Friday Aug 30th – Pittsburgh, PA @ Thunderbird Cafe

Sat. Aug 31st – Buffalo,NY @ Duke’s Bohemian Grove Bar | http://on.fb.me/10m6L03

Sun Sept 1st – Erie, PA @ Crooked I

 

Capturing the Sun: Dealing with Grief

Me and My Grandma
Me and My Grandma

Thoughts jumbled. Time passing. No more tears. The echoes of you saying “Grandson walk with purpose. They will listen because you are a Great man of God.” Failure not an option. You keep driving me and I am grateful. I never thought that I would be here but I am and you are here with me. Time passing. I miss you. There will never be a day that passes that I don’t think of you. You are a great woman. Full of anointing and smiles that dim the brightest of stars. You are with me always.

How do we grieve? Some do it by locking themselves in a room, drowning themselves in tears and sorrow never coming up for air, suffocated by the turmoil of loss. Some find themselves trying to ignore the fact that a loss has occurred, moving on with their lives as if nothing has happened. Some bury themselves in their work to offset the pain that they feel inside in an attempt not to acknowledge the strong emotions that are ever so present in their hearts. So how do you grieve? How do I grieve?

Webster’s Dictionary defines grief as deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement or deep sadness especially for the loss of someone or something loved. My question is why does grief have to be a negative emotion? As many of you know I lost my grandmother not too long ago and I have been asking myself why am I not grieving in the traditional sense of the word? Why am I not sorrowful? Did I not love my grandmother as much as I thought? Then it hit me talking to my wife one night that I am grieving in my own way. I am embracing the idea that I am grieving with moving forward. I grieve by celebrating her life with living mine with every fiber of my being attempting to be up right in the eyes of God as she and my mother have taught me. I grieve by not grieving. By fulfilling all that she spoke over my life. I grieve with a smile on my face because I know that she smiles on me. There will never be a time that I don’t miss her but, I choose to celebrate her by living and breathing life into others as she did. I do this with my music. This is why it is only fitting that the concept of “Capture the Sun” was inspired and dedicated to her. She is breathing for me when I am out of breath. She is interceding for me when I have no where to turn. She is Still here.

I have come to realize that how we deal with grief is a choice. We can choose to be sad and stagnate due to the loss of a loved one or we can be energized by the fact that they are not gone. They are here with us always because they implanted life inside of us. As I breathe she continues to do so. So if anyone out there can hear me that have lost someone close to them, understand that they are not gone. If they ever gave you advice that you live by or prayed over you life for your well being and prosperity then they are still there with you and always will be. And they will continue to live beyond your years if you impart something they gave you to some one else and so on and so on…

No matter your spiritual beliefs there is life after death for those who imparted parts of their lives into others. Their ideas and purpose still live on in our minds hearts and actions. So remember to make the choice to live in their memories. Live in their words. Live in the lessons that they taught you and they will never die. So how do you grieve? It’s up to you.

Dealing with Depression


Shrouded in a sea of darkness. Clothed in absolute incompletion. Your reflection reveals disgust. Swimming in an abyss of “I am nothing” or “no one cares”. Failure seems the only option. Tomorrow is the worst thought one can muster. Fully immersed in doubt. Happiness is a mirage in a desert of pain, unattainable for unknown reasons. You smile in an attempt to hide the gloom you wake to every morning. This is depression.

Here is an excerpt from an email I received a few weeks ago: “I relate to your ideas and outlooks too well from time to time and I suppose my question for you is how do I handle this depression? I’ve felt miserable for as long as i could compose the thought of genuine unhappiness. I don’t talk to anyone….I guess this isn’t really a question I’m just seeking advice…”

So how do we deal with these feelings that have been embedded in us for as long as we can remember? I speak from experience when I say that the escape from depressions grasp is a choice and it is a choice that only you can make. Once the choice is made it has to be reaffirmed daily.  Many of us can fall on our past as a cushioned excuse to remain in that state of ever evolving reasons to fail and to not be good enough but, at some point you have to say “ENOUGH!!!”. Personally I have the prime background for a life of depression. I was raised with no relationship with my natural father and when there was an attempt at a relationship I was continuously rejected, teased by classmates growing up to no end, inappropriately touched by a family friend when I was about ten, etc. The List can go on and on…I have felt that there was no place for me on this earth and that no on would miss me if I was gone. I felt that God has just forgotten about me. I was drowning until one night I was in College walking home from a friend’s house in the rain ready to take my own life. Something told me to stop and look at my reflection in a large rain puddle at my feet. I must have stared at my self for about an hour balling.  It was like the rain drops were equivalent to my tears. And then I believe God spoke to me and asked my why I felt like I was nothing when he made me so Special and this was my response…. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEe_WPbkDNo]

After writing this I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders. Not that my depression was completely cured but, I could see it clearly now. I believe that God revealed to me my feelings and gave me the choice to change them.  This revelation was given to me in song so that others will know that they are not alone. Many times when drowning in depression you feel that no one understands what you are going though. You feel like you are the only one with these feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing but, I was given a gift to express to many that they are not the only ones.  It has and still is a process but, I choose to be happy. You have to wake up every morning and tell your self that you choose to be happy and not depressed. You choose to live a life of peace and not one of chaos. You have to choose your surroundings to be ones of edification and not turmoil. If you are surrounded with positive energy then you will be more likely to internalize that energy and then emit that energy. Proverbs 23:7 says “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he”.  You must modify your internal dialog to match the desire that is in your heart to be happy and at peace. In doing so those desires are what your life will reflect. 
If you make up in your heart that you want to change and you put in the work and have the faith that you will then you will but, the first step is to make that choice to do so. I hope this helps…

P.s. Here are a few other songs I wrote dealing with the Subject of depression and choices…. 
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJqvPCuNsOw] [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pXMU6wuXN0] [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7Nqviw0Knk]

Ask Illogic Vol# 2

Here is the Second installment of “Ask Illogic” This is where you guys ask me anything you ever wanted to know about me or my opinions of topics of any kind. This week I picked some pretty good ones so lets Begin….

How would you define yourself politically speaking? what do you think about Big Boi’s stance on libertarianism and its role in hip hop? [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9Nx7xvg7X8] 

Politically I would consider my self and Independent who leans more Liberal.  I voted for President Obama in the last two elections, Not because I whole hardheartedly believed in everything he stood/stands for but, because I believed he was more trustworthy and qualified then John McCain or Mitt Romney.

My personal stance on government is that it is all corrupt no matter who is in office. I believe that the founding fathers of this country had a great idea of Justice and doing right by the people that in theory works but, in practice could never work unless we become a resource driven world and not a Profit driven world. I agree with Big Boi that we do need to mind our own business and do what we need to do to take care of our own but, without rules and regulation there would be chaos. Without help some people would not have the ability to get back on their feet.

As far as hip hop and politics there has always been a connection. From 1982s “The Message” by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five to Brother Ali and Immortal Technique’s music today, hip hop has always been a vehicle for our voices to express the wrong doing of out political system locally and world wide.

Many of your tracks are philosophical, so I was wondering how deep into philosophy you delve. Any particular philosophers or theories that you especially like?

I studied all kinds of philosophy in college and high school but, I wouldn’t say I’m in it deep at all. I have recently read and continue to study books like the The 48 Laws of Power  and The Art War . Those two in particular have had a profound affect on how I live and make decisions now but, I will say that from living life and my different experiences I have developed my own philosophy about life.The Holy Bible as well as other religious texts like the Koran, the teachings to Taoism, Buddhism etc  has help shaped my life philosophy. Over all I do consider my self a believer and follower of Christ.

       I believe that life is a balancing act of positive and negative energy. Some believe that those energies are representative of Good and Evil. I say the more positive energy that you have in your heart then the more positive energy that will be attracted to your life. It has to be inside you though not just in the acts that you do or the words that you say because those things can be fabricated. The positive energy has to be in your heart to really affect your life and the lives of those around you. If negative energy is in your heart then it is what will affect your life and the lives of those around you. Of course no one is perfect and no one always emits positive energy but the heart never lies.

I know im suppose to give you a concept but i kinda need your help. I have a mixtape to record but this writer’s block is killing.Can you please give me a few ideas on how to break through it please? #fan in need#

Writers block is different for everyone. Some people get stuck and can’t even come up with wack rhymes. Some can only come up with wack rhymes and some just can’t get in to a flow with the topic that they are trying to express. Either way there is only one way to get out of that slump and that is to keep writing. When I have writers block or I am just in a creative slump I might write a poem or just write about my day. No rhyming. No restrictions. I also do writing exercises that at least keep my gears turning. I learned this one in high school, I would write for a set time usually 30-45 min without the pen lifting up off of the paper. The writing doesn’t have to make sense or flow but it is a way of getting out your ideas. As you do this more and more some of these exercises will speak to you in ways that you never imagined. Some of them can turn into staples in your writing career like this writing exercise did for me….

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOjKVhPNCMo]


 My question is: How do you define love? , especially young affection.

I define love as an undying need to do for someone more than you would do for your self. It’s not a want but it is a need. It is a place where your purpose is fulfilled because you see them smile. It is listening when your past tired of listening and I mean actually listening not just hearing words. It is a kiss on the forehead for no reason accept to feel their skin pressed against your lips. Its the simplest yet most complex part of our lives as human beings. It is more then a feeling it is a need. Love is understanding that love isn’t enough.

In many cases young affection is either lust or strong like. In my opinion it can’t be love because the young person has not had enough experience or lived enough life to understand the truth of love. In many cases with youthful love is only a feeling. Its how that person makes you feel all the time. Its all gooey and stuff. Yes, that is what love develops from but, it is not love in its mature state. Love in it’s mature state is unyielding and overflowing but this does not make it everlasting. Mature Love adds to you as a person. It makes you a better person over all and its reciprocation it is what breaths life into us. One sided love can die quickly, but when true mature love is alive and surrounds you and you significant other 360 degrees it can last forever.

Ask Illogic Vol #1

OK, Weekly maybe bi-weekly I am going to be answering questions sent to me by you the fans. Anything you want to know about me and my life mo opinions, etc not just music just ask. I have been wanting to do this for some time now but, time did not lend itself favorable to me. Now I have nothing but time on my hands so I can dedicate my self to writing on the site and fielding some of your most poignant question of me so with out further or due, Here we go….

So, was Lesson in Love inspired by a similar real life event? [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmYn_YZhnwk] [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDiNpGSBgT4]  

For some background Lesson in Love was a song on my Celestial Clockwork album. You can listen to it above….Yes it was real life. Every word of that story is true.  I was dating a Somali girl at the time and that day I caught her cheating. She did everything to try to get me to forgive her and you know I mean everything if you heard the song. After that encounter we still spoke briefly but the relationship was over. The song First Trimester also above is about the same girl.

How do I go about creating some promotional artwork for you?

You can always send work to my email… Unforeseenshadow@gmail.com and I will check it out. I usually use artwork that coincides with the style of what erver I am doing or the campain I am working on at the time but, I am always on the lookout for great tee shirt designs and ways to use art in other ways so send it in and if can use it I will let you know. I will get back to you on what I think of the art either way though.

When is your next album coming out? Yo’ your track Lucky ft blueprint,I can’t find it and its my favorite!

Not sure where you have been but Capture the Sun is my next album. it is produced entirely by blockhead and will be released on Man Bites Dog Records 4/16/13. Below are a few videos from it and the first Episode of a Bio-series we have done for the album…Enjoy
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EEXYuV_Rp0] [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2coizlE0C4w] [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhyueu306mU]

And here is Lucky. It was produced by Blueprint and Featured on his Weight Room album.

Yo ill I’m curious to know what you think of the Canibus/Dizaster battle..what’s your take on the whole thing? 

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9KjsBIsr2g]

Well first off, I am a fan of these rap leagues. I enjoy a great battle and Dizaster is one of the best to ever do it. I knew Canibus was in trouble as soon as I heard that it was going down. I expected it to be good but, I did not expect for him to be destroyed the way he was. When he went to the Note pad I couldn’t stop laughing. Canibus has been done for a while but, that killed any attempt for him to be taken seriously ever again. The guys that do this stuff are amazing. it’s a lot of work to write 3-4 rhymes that are 3-4 min long about one person. That is like at least 40-60 bars per verse. That’s a lot of writing and memorizing. I enjoy most the ones like Dizaster that mix it with actual on the spot freestyles. It’s very entertaining.

Well that does it for the first edition of ” Ask Illogic”. If I didn’t get to your question I will. A few of the questions I sent I may do a whole write up on so stay tuned. Again Send your questions to Askillogic@gmail.com.

2 Finger…