Why Do We Fall in Love with Hip Hop (culture)?

I love hip hop    We are all drawn to hip hop for different reasons. For some of us its a home, a shelter or place of comfort. For others it the attraction of having a good time with no strings or judgement. For me it was an escape from my life in times of despair and desperation as well as an area when I was accepted no matter what. Most of the friends that I have made in and because of hip hop are just as screwed up as I am if not more, but that’s okay. Hip hop doesn’t judge us. Hip hop doesn’t ask anything from us that we do not have the means to provide. Hip Hop is a “come as you are” mantra. Hip Hop is our rocking roll. This is why we fall in love with it because hip hop  allows us a freedom that in many of us has been suppressed, if not by our environment (home, neighborhood, church) then by ourselves for fear of what people will say or how we will be looked at if that part of us is revealed. Of course there has been a obvious perversion of our culture that is present to the main stream global community, but that doesn’t take away from its foundation. That perversion doesn’t taint or belittle our love.

This post was inspired by a friend of mine who sent me an email a week or so ago with his epiphany as to why he became part of the culture. Here is what He sent me:

Growing up I definitely loved hip hop, but really did not know why.  I loved nearly everything about it.  I studied it more intense throughout High School and at the age of 18 began to participate in hip hop.  I knew that I wanted to participate in it, and that it is a participation sport.  The only requirement was being yourself.

Now at the the age of 35, KRS 1 helped me now understand why I even liked it in the first place.  It is a deep complex industry now that has transformed multiple times and has had multiple movements in the last 50 years.  Kool Herc adopted a style of deejaying in Jamaica that he brought with him when his family moved to NYC in 1967. He loved the way the deejay interacted with the crowd in Jamaica, and their spin back technique of restarting the record among other things.  No one was going to tell him it was the wrong way to do things in the Bronx because it was his way.  And he liked his way.  Blend one break right into the next, fuck the rest of the song.

Owning your Identity seems like a fairly simple thing to do.  When you DO own your identity, no one or thing can tell you what to do.  Again, this is why I loved hip hop.  No one could tell hip hop what say or what to do.  Now as an adult it is clear as day, that this truly what I loved about hip hop.  You could be yourself, and not only that, it is a requirement to be yourself.

In Middle School (arguably the roughest time in a kids life) kids are flat out mean.  In this age range we see conformity taking shape.  Those who follow to so because they’re scared and don’t understand that they’ve just given up their identity in order to feel safer.  The day I became a man was in the 7th grade. This was the time that I decided no one was going to clown me for ANYTHING.  I was going to own it all, the good along with the bad.  Yes, I have zits.  Yes, I like hip hop (even though I don’t know why) and yes, I masturbate a good deal because it’s new to me and girls won’t sleep with me yet (wait till summer next year lol).  I owned everything.  Dress and style were only as hard as what I liked.  Throw out the rest.  (Just give me the breaks Herc).   My music, My art, My education (fuck yes I get 3.5 so what?), my Mathematics, are all cool.  No matter what, because I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE A FUCKING OPINION.

And so do you.

Be yourself.

Love, Bobby

hip hop

We all have our own experiences and reasons for being part of hip hop whether as a fan or and artist or combination of both.

What made you fall in love with hip hop?

Get your priorities right…

priorities 1

     I know I have been absent from writing for a while and its not because I haven’t had anything to say (or had no site at the time). If you read this post completely you will understand.

     My last post was back in February and I asked the question “where are the visionaries?” It wasn’t until a few months later upon rereading that post and going through some personal things,  I realized that I wasn’t as much of a visionary as I thought because my life was out of wack. I was too lost in today and not planning for tomorrow. I could only see to the end of my nose and anything beyond that was of no consequence and I had no idea.

     I have been working on and releasing a lot of music as of late and in that I was caught up to the point that that’s all that I was doing. I was hit by an epiphany a few days ago, that’s all I have been doing for months maybe even the last year or so. I wasn’t finishing my book. I wasn’t working on my performance. I should have been on the road. I was loosing sight of my children’s behavior and progress (or lack thereof) in school.  I was neglecting and taking my wife for granted. Most important of all my spiritual existence was completely an afterthought. My relationship with my creator faded in to the background of me writing and recoding songs. Really Jawhar? (I talk to my self out loud at times) I wasn’t doing any of the things that had got me to the point of my life where I felt like I was happy. I was losing myself in my art and my person was suffering for it. Unfortunately and fortunately it took me a year or so to realize it but, once I did it smacked me in the face with a force that stopped me in my tracks like a dear in headlights.

priorities 3

     As I looked at where I was in my life i saw an absolute mess. Figuratively and literally. My studio was a wreck. My career had lost steam since Capture the Sum dropped. My relationship with my children was not where it was supposed to. I was losing my wife. I had blinders on just going through the motions acting like everything was OK. And it wasn’t. It was the farthest thing from it. So I came to the conclusion that my priorities were disheveled so that I didn’t recognize myself once I took the time to actually look. I was utterly lost.

     I am of the belief that as the head of this family if my priorities are off then that disrupts the flow and serenity of the entire household. Once I became aware of this it was almost too late, but I believe that this was revealed to me when it was supposed to.

     So I say all of that to say this…I have still been writing and recording, but a resent talk with Blueprint has gotten me to be more attentive to and focused on the longevity of my career and most importantly my family’s needs. I am working on rebuilding closeness and intimacy with my wife. I am more active in my children’s lives as far as knowing what they need and above all I am rebuilding my relationship with my creator and that is where it all has to begin. I know that without my spirit being in line and allowed to grow I will continue to be lost. All that we have on this earth is a gift and if you lose sight of the gift giver then you won’t appreciate what you have nor will you have an understanding of how to feed and develop your gift for it to reach its full potential. So I will start to share more as I am on this new exciting journey of growth and maturity. Please get your priorities in order or you will end up losing or getting lost in the very purpose that your think your are working for.

Where are the visionaries?

looking-up-eyes-faceVast fields and endless forests coated the earths surface hundreds of thousands of years ago. The planet was the home of animals and plant life with humans yet to be created. Then God breathed life into the earth and man was born. In order for man to survive he had to see beyond the horizon. He had to see what was not there. He had to have faith in the work of his hands. He had to be a visionary.

The building of shelter.  The development of weapons and other technology. The carving out of mans place in the world had to be seen before it was done for better or for worse. As man has evolved so then has his capacity for ideas to further the human experience again for better or for worse. Human beings are said to be at the top of the evolutionary ladder and in that we continue to find ways to explore new outlets for our creativity, our survival and unfortunately our destruction. Mans ambition is his greatest asset, but not understanding that there should be limits to that ambition is his greatest downfall. There is always room for progression. One should not place barriers on what they can achieve, but gluttony is a prison that is not easily escaped. Overindulgence and greed is a topic for another post that I will cover in the days to come.

The problem that I see is that the layman is no longer the visionary that he used to be. I am not speaking of anything grandiose like the invention of the aircraft or light bulb, I am speaking of the simplicity of seeing past your current situation. I am talking about man seeing himself better tomorrow than he is today and putting in the work to ensure the achievement of that desired improvement.

Too often we don’t see past where we are. Too often we don’t have the faith to build something to leave our children to be proud of. We all have the capacity to see beyond our own perceived limitations, but in most cases that ability is used either not at all or for trivial things, not things that will cement our legacy even in the minds closest to us.

Just as the Egyptians foresaw the pyramids of Egypt looking over an empty desert;Just as Civil Rights activist saw/see a world of inclusion in a climate of turmoil and conflict; so can you see a tomorrow that is bright and brilliant.

Many people find it hard so see past their currant experience or if they do they have a lot of hope with out any action behind that hope. I urge you to be radical. I urge you to see your self as more than you are today. I urge you to dream and work until that dream is realized. I urge you to know that you current situation is not the end of the line, but a building block to be used to reach new heights. Don’t put limits on yourself. In many cases we as people don’t progress because we are limited in out thinking. We do not see the Forrest for the trees. We only see what is right in front of of us, ignoring the beauty and possibilities of the world around us.

The book of life is full of blank pages. What will your story be? What will you leave as your imprint for those who follow or are you content with being Forgotten? See who you want to be in the minds of those who will come after you and become that. Work to be come that vision of yourself. Leave your children and your children’s children something to be proud of.

The Burden of Trust…Part one

trust 2With a sincere smile plastered across my face and a firm handshake given at first hello strangers are greeted. You can see the care in my eyes when we first cross paths as if we are long lost family members in each others presence for the first time. There is a genuine love for the human experience present when I encounter someone new. A blind trust drips from my speech in a way that some call naive, but I believe at their core all people are decent and that seems to be my down fall. I jump into that belief with both feet without the security of a parachute and no fear of the fall that may occur. I just see all people as good, taking no stock in the bridges I have had to burn in the past. There is something to be said about my undying faith in a human being as they are. I know that we are not perfect. I know that everyone does not have my best interest at heart, but I stand on the unshakeable encouragement that we have a concrete care for one another; that we all want to see each other succeed in life in some way. Even in the eyes of utter disdain I try to find a silver lining. I try my best to see the glass half full to a fault, so much so that I seem to get taken advantage of. My trust in the word of human beings is seen as a weakness, as an open door for exploitation for which I have no one to blame but myself.

I guess it’s because I actually believe in the mantra “treat people how you want to be treated” too much. I want to be seen as credible because I deserve to be; because I actually am. I am a loyal person that loves unconditionally and with my whole heart. I know that there are flaws in human beings because I have many myself, but I don’t interact with people based on the assumption that they are flawed. I don’t look for the short comings of those that come in contact with. I take you how you are and I give you the benefit of the doubt, but to what end? How many times must I watch people cast their honor in to the sea before I start to question the motive of any and everyone? With the amount of broken promises and empty words that I have encountered in my life it is a wonder that I am not more cynical when it comes to my dealings with people. It is amazing that I don’t give everyone the side eye when they say what they can and will do. I’m just not built like that. I am built to forgive and have faith. I am built to hope and dream that a better tomorrow is on the horizon for us all and I will do all that is in my power to help you get there. I have always thought in the terms of “We” not “I” and that is my Achilles heal. That is what has held me back in some respects.

trust1Many of you are aware and many of you are not of the departing of Manifest from Weightless who was on third of the original group greenhouse effect. Manifest was a part of our movement from the beginning. He was a integral part in the building of the brand of Weightless recordings. Over the years from the inception of our label we developed a brotherhood that we believed to be unshakable and uncompromising. To make a long story short, it was discovered that he was stealing from the company. He basically disregarded all that we had worked for to a point that the faith that we had in each other as a unit was tested. This unbridled betrayal created a rift between all of us that has since been repaired between Blueprint and I, but how we deal with people outside of our immediate core has been forever altered. This among other things has shaken my faith.

I am starting to look at the world with open eyes, but a somewhat closed heart and I hate it because it goes against my nature. This is due to there being only so much abuse one can take. There is only so much love you can give without reciprocation. You can only be so true for so long while being stepped on or overlooked. At some point something has to change. At some point the gate has to be closed where only those with the secret password can enter because lately I have had to burn too many bridges. I have had to become something that I have always despised, a skeptic.

I am lucky to have the people around me that I do. My inner circle it one of strength and support. I have a loving Wife and family that nurture my hope in human beings, but confront me with the question of how long? How long will you give credence to those undeserving? How long will you allow your heart to broken by the revelation that people are not all rainbows and cotton balls? The answer is no more. No more will I just take you at your word. I have to guard my hope in people in order to not become a shadow of myself.  I have to put up walls around my love so it is not completely invaded by the tragic misleadings of a society that only values the progression of self. I have discovered that it is one thing to have general faith in random humans, but it another to have faith in them implicitly. I am still a firm believer that at our core we are all good, but in reality our quest for greatness can get in the way of that goodness. Our want and need to progress can be a hindrance to our basic nature of love. I pray that my children are not turned off to love. I hope that my children do not become hardened to the human experience. Desensitization has become a disease in our society that allows us have no emotional attachment to how the choices we make affects others. I know that there is a general positive energy that is strong in the world and I still believe that it can be harnessed and change that fabric of our existence. I want to again be that fully faithful swan diver with no parachute again, but it’s hard when the winds continue the whip and whirl me in the opposite direction.

So what side of the coin are you on?  Are you a person that strengthens the resolve of the village or do you hold a book of matches in hand waiting to set fire to the structure of an open heart? Do you hold the progression of all in high regard or is the advancement of self you primary goal? We can all believe again. We can all rise as one, but we have to put “I” aside sometimes. Not all of the time, but sometimes. “I’ has it’s place but, there cannot always be a search for backs to step on. There has to be a sincere want to one day be the boost that catapults someone else to their goals. I take pride in the surety that there will be a revolution of selflessness, but I realize that there is still a long way to go.

Become a Master of Something…



  • n.noun
    1. Possession of consummate skill.
    2. The status of master or ruler; control.
    3. Full command of a subject of study.

My oldest son has an affinity for the study of sports video games. Any time he picks up the play station controller he wants to be the best. He wants to be the ruler of the domain of Madden 25, for example, to the point that whenever he gets a chance he practices. He won’t play actual games, but he works on the practice simulation and when he does play he wants to play against the best players that he can to measure where he is in his ability to manipulate the joy stick to do his bidding so he comes out victorious. He doesn’t always win so when he loses, again I see him practicing, working on his game until he reaches his goal. When it comes to his school as well work there are times when he falls short as all of us do, I see a drive in him to not settle for the mediocre. No matter what he does in life I see that he will not settle until he is at the pinnacle of what he is trying to achieve no matter how long it takes. He wants to be the best. He does this in every aspect of his life I have noticed as treks toward perfection in all that he attempts. His journey has not been and will not always be smooth. I have been there to see the barricades, road blocks and short comings, but he has an unwavering faith in the possibility of his ability to achieve.Knowing this, when I see that he is stifled he brushes himself off and continues on his quest to victory.

I admire him because as adults, we have a tendency to place limits on ourselves that we pass on to our children as an infectious disease. Many times we infect them inadvertently because many of us have the “do as I say and not as I do” way of teaching. We as adults often settle because we feel that we have no other recourse. We feel that our time has passed so continuing to press toward a dream is of no consequence when we have a mortgage to pay or an electric bill due. Of course that is reality, but we cannot lose our drive to become proficient in something or many things in our lives. His drive is feeding me. As his father it is my job to nurture his ongoing internal engine and I cannot achieve this if I am not staving to be a master in my own right.

In order to become a master of anything there has to be a realized passion present. No one can become a virtuoso in a field or practice that they are not passionate about it. You can’t even begin the journey if there isn’t at least an inkling of interest. There must be an overall presence of conviction that seeps from your pours to the point that it is etched into the fabric of who you are. This conviction is not always present in the initial stages of development, but as one drives closer to the goal of mastery a passion can develop. Live in the moment and define it. Allow your presence to saturate all that is around you and allow all that is around you to saturate you because in order to become a master one has to first be a student. There in lies our issue. No one wants to be a student any more. Everyone wants to start out as a Master, but a master that refuses instruction is as a flower that refuses pollen.

Many people walk through life thinking that they are already adept in all that they do, but in reality they haven’t buckled down to really learn anything. I mean really learn. When my son gets a new video game he studies it. He hunkers down in his room and for the time allotted to him to play he studies and practices. He jumps in with both feet. This is what we have to do as people. We have to find what we want to gain expertise in and dive in full bodied. Remove all distraction and learn. Devise a plan that will allow you the place and time to learn and become a master.

Mastery takes patience. One does not gain full comprehension of anything overnight. Albert Einstein said, “Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person.” There is a fear that exists in us that is stifling, preventing the giving all of ourselves to something. That fear has to die. Recently, I read a piece by my friend Al Shepard, many of you know him as Blueprint, called Fear Comes in Many Disguises. In it he says,

 Fear is a natural human response (to) unknown outcomes. As we take these situations  into consideration, our minds make sure we have assessed the possible outcomes.  This is human nature and a mostly positive survival instinct.  However, there is a point where fear in our current context is given too much power.  That happens when we begin to fear the possible negative outcomes more than the potential gains.  Even worse, we begin to take on a dialog that hides these fears as something other than what they really are.

This struck a chord with me because fear can be why we don’t make an attempt to become proficient in anything. There is the fear of failure. There is the fear of inadequacy. There is also, weirdly enough, the fear of success. I have suffered and still do suffer from this fear at different points in my life and that fear has held me back from becoming the master that I am supposed to be in certain things, but seeing my son push and practice that game reminds me that the journey is long, tiring and at times repetitive, but as long as the passion is alive in me the voyage is never over.

We live in a microwave society that does not value mastery. In reality, society does not value much at all. Everywhere is a factory the spits out as many robots as possible with minimal skill in the craft that they were constructed for. From reality television to college campuses this world has become an assembly line for the construction of mediocre pods of empty ability and only a yearn to be scene for the succubus’ of the world to feed off of until they are used up. Then there is movement to the next pod. So how long will you allow the world to feed off of you? When will you make the decision to become something bigger that just another human. Being. We are destined for more than that. We just have to make a point to want to be. So this year, take a note out of my son’s book and work to become a master of something. Don’t just be a “jack of all trades.” Don’t just be content in knowing enough to get by. Buckle down and work toward perfecting a passion. Become what you were always meant to become; A master.


Journal Entry 8/3/13: Be who you are. Envy no one.

be-yourself     We live in a world inundated with images of who we are supposed to be. Who we are supposed to idolize. Who we are supposed to model ourselves after. we are told, Buy this brand of shoe because the cool people buy them. Wear this brand of shirt because Jay-Z said it in a song. You should be this skinny because all of the beautiful people are skinny and you want to be beautiful right? Listen to this music because it sounds like everything else and and you don’t have to think to do it. Who cares about original anymore? Original does not have “SWAG” in the eyes of society though ironically swag is really about originality.

We as a society allow those in control to put us in a box. We willfully march single file in perfect syncopation and sip the kool aid. We sit and the box waiting for some one else to tell us who we are. We wait for someone else to tell us what cool is. Whats the new trends. It is so easy to get caught up in the societal ideal of a human being because its in our nature to want to be accepted by our peers. It’s part of Maslovs hierarchy of needs. But it was also in our nature to be innovative and want to do new things. Its in us to discover new ways of live and in that we find ourselves and our purpose.

I posted on twitter and Facebook the other day that “God give everyone gifts. everyone’s gift is not rapping….Find your gift and rep it…”. I got a  responses on my Facebook saying things like “anyone can do anything they put their mind too” and I agree. I agree that we are capable of learning and doing almost anything, but does that mean that we will be the best at anything we do? I believe that we all have purpose and things flow naturally when you are in the process of Capture the Sun, the process of fulfilling that purpose. You can do anything but will (insert deity/belief system here) breath on what you are doing if that’s not where you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to be doing? People are so quick to jump on the bandwagon of what they want to do just because “they can put their mind to it” as opposed to really looking at and finding what they are supposed to do. Your mind could be better used in the avenue it is supposed to be used in. This way it will blossom to its full capacity.

Be proud of who you are. Be invested in who you are. Really take time to find yourself and develop yourself to a point that no one can mistake you for being something that your not. Live your destiny, don’t live the shadows of someone elses. I talk a lot about legacy in my life and in my music because I want to leave a mark. I want people to know that Jawhar was here, I can’t do that by being someone I’m not because I will not be remembered. I’m going for the branding of souls type legacy. I teach my children that there is no other you on this planet, in this galaxy, in this universe. Work everyday to be the best you you can be. Work everyday to be a better you than you were the day before. Find you own voice and stop just being an echo. Echos fade in the distance but an individual voice will live infinitely.

“Be who you are and envy no one. Just reach for the stars and capture the sun”

Capture the Sun song breakdown w/Lyrics (Pt 3)

Capture the Sun CD- 14.00

Here is the last installment of the “Capture the Sun” Song breakdown. Sorry it took so long to finish. I hope you guys enjoyed this and I hope you enjoy the Album. Feel free to leave a comment on what you think of the entire series of post. Many people have expressed interest that i do this with my other albums so I’m compiling all of my lyrics and attempting to fulfill that request. Thank you for listening. If you miss the first two installments feel free to click on the links below and start from the beginning.

Song breakdown w/ lyrics part 1

Song breakdown w/ lyrics Part 2


One way ticket F. Zero Star

One way ticket is a rant of sorts. It is me being frustrated with the world that I live in and some of the things in my personal world as well. It is me wanting to live in a place of comfort and trust, a place of love and honor and a place of peace and tranquility.  This is not the world that we live in at this moment but I came to realize that I form the world that I live in. I choose to have peace or live in chaos. I choose to live with love and honor in my heart. I choose to trust, So if I just believe that I have the power to create my world with God’s help then I will be ok.

Intro (Zero Star)

I got a one way ticket I don’t know what I’m a do with it

One way ticket so I’m guessin I should use it quick

One way ticket I don’t wana be abusin it

One way ticket so we write it hope the music sticks

But alas we are here so the past that you fear will it last even here

Perhaps what you hear is claps and the cheers

so that what you hear yeah laugh through the tears

Verse 1

I wana go where the sun never sets

Where class is based on respect far from the devils rejects

Where pain is a memory and joy is normalcy

Where banishments the result of conformity

I wana go where love is the foundation of living

Where we cherish what we receive and polish what we’re giving

Where children sing and dance shielded from struggle

Where you progress further the harder you hustle

I wana go where I’m immersed in bliss

Where my wife skis is the alarm that wakes me from my slumber

Where we use our brains to fight not fists

So we can find peace in the beauty of lightning and thunder

I wana go where my sons are the light of my day

Where they listen to what I do and watch what I say

Where the see the honor in the times we pray together

and feel pride in the fact that we pray together

Hook (Zero Star)2x

Far far away from here yeah that’s the ticket

So can you help me out with my one way ticket

I heard that heavens really off the chain we can kick it

I’m out here trying to hustle for my one way ticket

 Verse 2

I wana go where the truth has no foot notes

And to most is no surprise that hope floats

Where what we say on mics is tuned to the key of life

Where your willing to pay the cost no matter the price

I wana go where hip hop is how we live and how we walk

What we wear the books we read and how we talk

Not what set we claim or the length of our chain

But a medal of honor beyond a musical genre

Wan go where I can breathe and leave the nicotine dependence

That’s a feat in itself but I’ll take it by inches

Where the land of the free and home of the brave comes to its senses

And comes to its own people s defenses

Where our leader is competent

And wouldn’t wave a flag of mission accomplished

if his people are still in fear of bomb threats

Where we know we’re role models so our words are conscious

Never under estimate those who see through nonsense

Verse 3

I wana go where my friends are my friends because they love me

Not for who I am or what they can take from me

Where silence is priceless

And the breeze that walks through the leaves of the trees is free of crisis

I wana go to the sky and hold stars in each hand

Place a bow around the moon as a gift to my mother

So she never questions or doubts that I love her

Where I can be an island of refuse for each of my brothers

I wana go where reality is fantasy incarnate

Where loving and being loved is harmless

A place where children can relax cause their fathers are men

And their lives can be balanced from the day it begins

I wan go where women respect themselves so their respected

Where their virtue is praised and protected

Just wana go to a place where somebody cares

Then it hits me if I walk by faith then I’m already there

Favorite Line:

I wana go where love is the foundation of living

Where we cherish what we receive and polish what we’re giving

Where children sing and dance shielded from struggle

Where you progress further the harder you hustle

Atlantis Depth

This is actually A poem that I wrote at a time when I was lost and questioning my future In the world of hip hop. Life was weighing me down and much of it was My own doing.  I actually didn’t have my license so I was just feeling stagnate literally. I couldn’t move. And I felt like I was going crazy. I felt like I was in a ditch that was as deep as the lost city of Atlantis is in the ocean. I was being pulled in so many directions and music seemed to be getting me nowhere, but as I wrote this I felt free. I only had dreams to break my fall and after letting those feelings out I felt somewhat free and fearless because I was a gain starting to recognize my purpose in being the artist that I had become.


Haven’t had my license in a few years

so right now it’s illegal to drive myself insane

But laws are made be broken so I ride dirty 4 tracking

rocking a Roca-wear straight jacket

Consciously high wire walking no net to catch me if I’m fallin only dreams

In time realized I of sound mind find sound slaves who bathe in the sound waves of my blood stream

Cyclops watches from mountain top those who topple from pedestal praise

Show me a humble man and I’ll show you a hero

show me the prideful and I’ll show you an unmarked grave.

To demonstrate we excavate at Atlantis depth

Questioning questions don’t always lead to where the answers kept.

The Wicked live where faith and doubt intersect

so if it’s a last breath they’ll bleed it till no passions left.

Listen, only those who have mastered the framing of masterpieces will bask in the master’s peace

So recognize the genius in others in order for your genius to be recognized for the heights it’ll reach

Favorite Line:

Show me a humble man and I’ll show you a hero

show me the prideful and I’ll show you an unmarked grave.

Smile F. Abstract rude

Sometimes you have to smile to keep from Crying. With all that goes on daily in the world and all that goes on in our individual lives it gets harder and harder to smile. They say that it takes less energy to smile then to frown so if we smile more then we will exude more positive energy in the world. I try to keep a smile on my face no matter what adversity I go through and it helps me to keep a positive outlook on life even when I look out and there is nothing to smile about.  If we smiled a little more than we can reap it benefits.

(They Got me out here Dealin with) all of my trials and tribulations of the day
had to force me to smile
I’m smiling inside I’m grateful so never look a gift horse in the mouth
gettin tougher every mile strugglin to hold it down
makes it harder for me to smile
how my upside look now all the love that i found
gave me upside down frowns

Verse 1

The more I look for it the more it itches

The more I scratchin the stitches actin as if it’s not a load I chose to carry

Bury me 6 feet deep beneath Atlantis (please)

I never planned this to be as hard as it seems

Deemed a carcass of Dreams an artist of masterpieces

Givin the last of me is just part of the territory

Every story is a glorious link in the chain

A stream of rain fall and train rails the awe can make the brain fail

(Smile) I try to every now and then but every now and then

I’ll find a bone to pick that’s Missing Calcium

Is it a mystery the outcome isn’t easy to stomach

Wanted a fountain of truth in the youth but all I could do is (Smile)

Its never quite the Plight we intended when light is suspended

And we try to bend it to shape our darkness

If we wait as artists it will fall into place

So I’ll keep running this race with a smile on my face

verse 2 (Abstract Rude)

where can i turn when both cheeks have been bruised swollen
frozen in time Emmit till casket open hoping one day to smile
learn it’s no peace but we press forward
don’t wanna allow police beatings excessive force
peeping out Egypt and we thinking how they looked
king tut and the sphinx even got a facebook
and u facing a crooked government they put the drugs in the community
felonies off to prison where the brothers went
smile? how can I when they shutting down family businesses
smile? how can I when they handing out life sentences
smile you’ll do more for the world then frown
enjoy when u look around avoid what’s putting you down
killem with kindness when u smile your highness & then they bow
they couldn’t figure you out let’s face it you took the town
who u calling a rookie now cuz u couldn’t cage a brothas thunder
must’ve forgot age ain’t nothing but a number homie smile

Favorite Line:

Deemed a carcass of Dreams an artist of masterpieces

Givin the last of me is just part of the territory

Last Breath (Family Fabric)

This song expresses the love I have for my mother and father. This song actually took about two years to write. I actually had the first two verses for some time and then my parents were divorced so I had to finish the story. Originally I had a third verse that I never finished about my brothers, but once the divorce happened I felt in my heart that there needed to be closure to the song and an expression to my parents that we understood and that we would be ok. Needless to say this is my parent’s favorite song of the album.

Verse 1

You gave me a suit of sharp intellect a hat of rebellion To match

I rock em for the world to see as we speak wrapped in a smile

Many say that our actions and attitudes are similar

Vocab in the clouds wild no denying that I’m your child

And though biological wasn’t tangible I have to hand it to you

Cause you helped raise a man any father would be proud of

Encouraged me to be me and dream beyond my means

I gave your wedding ring to my queen when I found love

And though you didn’t want me at first I can only imagine

The feeling when the doctor came and told you I had cancer

Spreading from my eye to my brain the chances of me dying

Were high it’s insane what makes us turn to the most high for answers

I love you more then you know and the more that I grow

The more that I see all that you sacrificed trying to give me the best

You gave me all of you what more could I ask for

A mother beauty beholds I owe you my last breath

Verse 2

You gave me a suit of selflessness a hat of responsible to match

I rock em for the world to see as we speak wrapped in a smile

Hardly saw eye to eye but I watched you provide for the family

Treated me as an equal to my brothers though I wasn’t your child

Took on a weight to you shoulders that most men couldn’t bench

And you embraced it lased it from the love to the discipline

Of course I hated the long talks you would give us

But no matter how many times eyes rolled or shoulders shrugged I was listening

You one of the greatest men I’ve ever know and I mean that

From the depths of my heart your compassion has allowed me to say

That even though we met when I was 1 to this day

I consider you my father in every way I don’t care about DNA

I love you more then you know and the more that I grow

The more that I see all that you sacrificed trying to give me the best

You gave me all of you what more could I ask for

A father with the heart of a lion I owe you my last breath

Verse 3

Blessed to be your son every morning the Sun is risen

I can never ever repay you for all that you have given

Me, Mike, Zach and Elijah always had the best

So don’t worry we understand why you had to split

As long as you remember the love once shared no matter what you do

Know you’ll always be together we’re reflections of both of you

The laughter and the sunshine is etched in our memories

Hold on to all the good times we’ll give you the energy

Never regret a thing my God doesn’t make mistakes

He kept us all those years with his mercy and his grace

From Oak street to satinwood and places in-between

You’ve earned this time to finally go and live some of your dreams

Trained us in the way we should go won’t depart from it

Even if we stray now and then we won’t ever forget

That you gave us all of you what more could we ask for

Precious parents of purpose we owe you our last breath

Favorite Line:

And though biological wasn’t tangible I have to hand it to you

Cause you helped raise a man any father would be proud of

Encouraged me to be me and dream beyond my means

I gave your wedding ring to my queen when I found love


Many of us choose to walk through life blind to the fact that we are not alone. This is all by choice. No matter what your spiritual beliefs are, this song is a testament that we keep our selves ordinary by choice when we are created to soar. It’s difficult to try to stay in that mindset when life smacks you in the face over and over again, but if you keep your eyes on your dreams and your purpose in life then you can be what you are called to be. Make the choice to see your greatness and you can fly without fear.


I stroll through life with a blind fold by choice

Hoping to avoid Danger

When I could just take it off and side step

The insanity of telling everything I know to a stranger

I try to talk to you every day

Pray and Digest some scripture

Struggling between doing it my way

And submission allowing you to breathe on the bigger picture


Simulated smiles flood the landscape

Elevated pride dilutes a handshake

(We talk with torn souls)

It’s difficult to walk the path and stay straight

Please guide my steps with your grace to seek your face

(Remove the blind fold)

Wings Spread hoping to catch the wind

Even though I’m anchored in earth and sin

(We walk with worn souls)

It’s difficult to walk the path and stay straight

Please guide my steps with your grace to seek your face

(Remove the blind fold)

 Verse 1

It’s like I’m banging on a door that I’m not meant to open

(Not without the sacrifice of making you my focus)

Need to remove self from the equation

All these years worked to polish perfect mask of patience

(No more illusions)

Smoke and mirrors shattered in the lime light

(All false delusions)

Scatter from the stage because the times right

(Please use my music)

To edify souls of the lost I just wana make sure I’m ready before stars turn off

(look) I’ve never been one to apologize but I’m sorry

for not nursing the gift I was given to show signs

Allowing fear and Pride to impede my stride

trying to keep one foot on the ground when I’m meant to fly

Verse 2

It’s like I’m waiting for some tragedy to force me closer

(Misplaced passion in apathy this wounded Soldier)

At times feels like a failure in your eyes

So I dig deeper convincing myself that I can hide

(Cried the Atlantic)

trying so hard to be a star

(When I should be a planet)

and bask in the orbit of who you are

(They don’t understand it)

but I’m here with arms stanched again

Just asking if you can wash me clean and be my friend

(Look) I’ve never been one to apologize but I’m sorry

For nursing the darkness in my heart keeping it alive

Allowing fear and pride to impede my stride

Trying to keep one foot on the ground when I’m meant to fly

Bridge 2

I stroll through Life with a blind fold by Choice

Hoping to keep my family from Danger

When I could just take it off

Lead with an example of confidence and not seem like such a stranger

We should talk to you every day

And as a family pray and Digest some scripture

No more doing it Our way

Well submit and allow you to breathe on the bigger picture

Favorite line:

(Cried the Atlantic) trying so hard to be a star

(When I should be a planet) and bask in the orbit of who you are


This is a response to the world that we live in especially how it relates to pop culture and the effect that it has on our children. As a father of three boys I see these effects close up. The problem is that we feed into what society tells us is normal. We feed into how society tells us we are supposed to act and what we are supposed to like and we pass these things down to the generations to come. I hope to leave a legacy of love and individuality to my children. I hope to show them that being your own person and thinking with your own mind is something to take pride in and be cherished. We can’t let society raise our children we have to take the responsibility to do it ourselves. If we don’t we can’t complain about how they turn out.

Verse 1

Showered in blankets of 2 dimensional soothsayers

Today’s truth shapers are stick figured visionaries’

There’s a gaping hole in the basket we’ve placed our eggs in

This explains the constant eggshell walking

Whole cities over run with village idiots and jester jingles

Mammoth misogyny massages the minds of model citizens

Children hold hands and dance in the cycles of history

Lost in limericks of its destruction with jovial denial

We take pride in confusion and find Laughter in the misguided

Capitalizing on whatever is deemed the most successfully desensitizing

We fight to win popularity contests and loose ourselves in the process.

Where will we draw the line to ensure future generations

aren’t ashamed of the legacies we leave?

Hook (Kristof Krane) 2x

Something’s missing its all wrong

We forgot how to move on

Mosey down this road alone

Till the Skin falls off my bones

Verse 2 (kristof Krane)

The won’t hang me from my family tree

Slowly fading now falling fast a sleep

Aside from aging there’s no past for me

No more debating

I’m making the best with what I have (3x)

 Favorite Line:

We take pride in confusion and find Laughter in the misguided

Capitalizing on whatever is deemed the most successfully desensitizing

Capturing the Sun: Dealing with Grief

Me and My Grandma
Me and My Grandma

Thoughts jumbled. Time passing. No more tears. The echoes of you saying “Grandson walk with purpose. They will listen because you are a Great man of God.” Failure not an option. You keep driving me and I am grateful. I never thought that I would be here but I am and you are here with me. Time passing. I miss you. There will never be a day that passes that I don’t think of you. You are a great woman. Full of anointing and smiles that dim the brightest of stars. You are with me always.

How do we grieve? Some do it by locking themselves in a room, drowning themselves in tears and sorrow never coming up for air, suffocated by the turmoil of loss. Some find themselves trying to ignore the fact that a loss has occurred, moving on with their lives as if nothing has happened. Some bury themselves in their work to offset the pain that they feel inside in an attempt not to acknowledge the strong emotions that are ever so present in their hearts. So how do you grieve? How do I grieve?

Webster’s Dictionary defines grief as deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement or deep sadness especially for the loss of someone or something loved. My question is why does grief have to be a negative emotion? As many of you know I lost my grandmother not too long ago and I have been asking myself why am I not grieving in the traditional sense of the word? Why am I not sorrowful? Did I not love my grandmother as much as I thought? Then it hit me talking to my wife one night that I am grieving in my own way. I am embracing the idea that I am grieving with moving forward. I grieve by celebrating her life with living mine with every fiber of my being attempting to be up right in the eyes of God as she and my mother have taught me. I grieve by not grieving. By fulfilling all that she spoke over my life. I grieve with a smile on my face because I know that she smiles on me. There will never be a time that I don’t miss her but, I choose to celebrate her by living and breathing life into others as she did. I do this with my music. This is why it is only fitting that the concept of “Capture the Sun” was inspired and dedicated to her. She is breathing for me when I am out of breath. She is interceding for me when I have no where to turn. She is Still here.

I have come to realize that how we deal with grief is a choice. We can choose to be sad and stagnate due to the loss of a loved one or we can be energized by the fact that they are not gone. They are here with us always because they implanted life inside of us. As I breathe she continues to do so. So if anyone out there can hear me that have lost someone close to them, understand that they are not gone. If they ever gave you advice that you live by or prayed over you life for your well being and prosperity then they are still there with you and always will be. And they will continue to live beyond your years if you impart something they gave you to some one else and so on and so on…

No matter your spiritual beliefs there is life after death for those who imparted parts of their lives into others. Their ideas and purpose still live on in our minds hearts and actions. So remember to make the choice to live in their memories. Live in their words. Live in the lessons that they taught you and they will never die. So how do you grieve? It’s up to you.

Poem Time #13: Life is a trip

There is a page of our book yet to be written
many chapters yet to be formed from consequence
we live in an age of tomorrows but a dream
and today is all there is to hold in arms
Mislead commandos falling on swords all around
no one in place to take a stand and speak
At some point the samuri has to get Tired of bowing
and to think you were once pedistoll placed
How sharp must a tounge be to stike fear in the hearts of men?
It seems these days forked just doesnt do it any more
how far must you go to prove your innocense?
Hopefully its not as far as they have to go to prove your guilt
Cause what lies on the surface of the sun it is singed through forever
and your only Savior is caught between a clock and and a suitcase
remember, Life is a trip.

What your destination?

WE DO IT FOR THE LOVE (and to pay our rent)

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of requests for features on tracks from different artist around the world and I am beginning to think that people have the wrong idea about what we do as artist. It is clear that many of you do not understand that for many of us this is our job. This is how we feed our families and pay our rent or mortgage. Of course we love the art and love what we do but, that does not negate the fact that we as artist offer a service and it is not wrong for us to expect to be compensated for that service.

When a little or unknown artist asks an artist with some popularity and a larger name to feature on a track that feature request usually has a two pronged purpose. First, working with one of your favorite artist could be a dream come true and the request for the feature is out of sheer respect and admiration. The other purpose is to boost the popularity, interest and awareness of that particular song. Of course there are exceptions but, this is the basic rule. For example, if Mc Fly Guy gets a feature from Nas on his album he will most likely use that song for a single knowing that people are more likely to listen to a song that has Nas on it then a song with just him not knowing who he is no matter how good of a rapper. Mc Fly Guy has little to no popularity and is a huge fan of Nas. Now if Nas asked to get paid for this feature is Nas wrong? Mc Fly Guy will be using Nas name and reputation to promote this song and hopefully bring attention and money to himself in the process. Now some of you reading this may say “Illogic you are not Nas” and of course I am not but, does that make the use of my name less important? Should I not value my name and reputation just as much? I have worked on my career and built my name for over a decade and for me that is worth something. This the same for all artists underground or not.

I had one particular person get truly offended when I requested payment for a feature. In short he told me that I am a sell out because I expected to get paid  to write a verse and for him to use my name on his album. He told me that I should do it for the love of the work and put the work in to promote and possible make money on the back end. So he basically wanted me to allow him to use my voice, name and on top of that work for him to promote his music. He told me that it was for the greater good of Hip Hop or something like that. He told me that I was all about money and I didn’t care about the art all because I wanted to get paid for my work. He said that my value should not be in my name it should be in my work. I tried to explain that me doing a song with him benefits him more than it would benefit me and I have no problem with that. I know how the game works but, I expected to be compensated for it. He did not listen to anything I was tiring to say. I’m being nice with what he said. Frankly he was an asshole about it and was extremely disrespectful in his approach to the point that I was really angry.

The point that I was trying to make to him is that this is my job. This music helps to keep my lights on in my home and gas in my car. It helps me pay my rent and put food on the table for my wife and children. It is just fortunate for me that I love what I do. Any of you that go to work everyday expect to be compensated for your service and we artist only ask for the same. Don’t take it as we don’t love the art or are all about money. Understand that this is our livelihood. We put work in for years to build enough of a name so we could feed our families from something that we love and you who try to degrade us because we want to get paid for work are cheapening our profession. Many of you already don’t buy our music anyway; you find it and download it for free. Where is the real support? Of course this is not directed at everyone but, you who it is directed at know how you are. I have heard countless stories like this from other friends of mine that are artist for a living and it is mind boggling how little some who call themselves fans of ours think of us.

2 fingers…